Friday, July 31, 2009
As you may have noticed, we haven't posted a lot recently. The main cause of it may be the fact that I, AnimeNerdz, am now on vacation in Hyperion's (that's the second dude) home city. So we are kind of going in this beer-hangover-beer period. But we are not dead. More reviews to come in the next couple of days, like, D.Gray-Man, Blassreiter, Ergo Proxy, GetBackers. And, of course we have the third reviewer kluxorious, but we never know when or what she will review, as she is free to do whatever she wants.
ps: if you want us to review an anime, please let us know...we will review anything (except Hentai...you will have to watch it yourself, I won't even bother)
pps: if you want to join us, and start writing reviews or have any questions about this blog, you contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org
Monday, July 27, 2009
When I first heard of the Soul Eater phenomenon on the internet I thought it was another pathetic excuse of using shinigamis in order to attract the viewers. It did prove me wrong but didn’t impress. Let’s start talking about the good parts of Soul Eater. We have some breathtaking action scenes filled with unbelievable camera angles that transfer the viewer into the action. The comedy moments are hilarious but sometimes not as suitable at the moment. The cast is compelling with some minor side plots filling for the almost inexistent main plot. Talking about a main plot in Soul Eater is like punching a baby with a baseball bat: quick and painless. No continuance and also no consistency in what it delivered. The pilot episode presents the 2 main heroes and some of the world they live in. It doesn’t make any sense showing us that there is this school filled with gifted children that fight in the name of a Death God but then to totally ignore their school activities and purpose by the end of the season. Some of the worse shit that is going on in Soul Eater is the fillers. You know what I’m talking about. Those retarded Excalibur moments that keep popping around the Soul Eater universe whenever Excalibur feels like it and you least expect it.
The drama fillers are also boring and predictable, and they mainly consist of Maka, the main hero, considering the world and its purpose and weighting different choices she has to do in order to do that or the other thing. Bitch, make up your mind. We have 7 heroes. There are 3 Masters and 4 Weapons. So that leaves a lot of room by the end of the season to choose a savior from. Although we fucking have a character called SOUL EATER, which should leave no frigging doubt in whether he is the one to save us all, the creators just keep gang raping your ideas and expectations and just use the boring tit-less Maka. The sound is awesome, with the battle themes fluently changing in adventure and comedy sequences. If you didn’t see Soul Eater I should probably not ruin the ending for you, but it is too retarded not to complain about it.
So the whole story revolves around this Kishin dude, the all mighty motherfucker, and the main nemesis in the perfect world created by Shinigami. He escapes and then by the end of the series you see him again but this time more powerful and scary. He is STOPPED by a fist full of shit called courage. You probably don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about. We have Maka, killing the biggest antagonist of the whole season with a fucking punch. HE DEFEATED SHINIGAMI 2 episodes earlier, so what the fuck is going on. The ending just ruined a piece of awesomeness. And you definitely see it coming. By the end of the second season bad shit is as common as flies on a dead animal. Overall Soul Eater was an excellent series with one of the worse endings ever, and a stupid choice for a savior.
I remember the first time I saw Ghost Stories was on TV on a channel called Animax. It was a long time ago, but I still remember that I enjoyed it. And now I wanted to see it again. I saw a dub version and I thought ,,Ok, I’m taking it”. But what I got is something totally different. So frankly this is a double review, or something. Basically I’m gonna say something about the original (that is no dub and only sub) but for most part I will talk about the English dub from ADV. They rewrote the script basically and made… well first let’s talk about the good parts.
In terms of scary atmosphere, Ghost Stories is as I remember it: dark and tense. Of course seeing it now is a bit different since I grew up a bit and some things don’t terrify me, but I still find it scary at times. The plot is about a girl who moves in her dead mother’s home town with her father and little brother. The day she moves in she meets her neighbor and 2 other kids and they go into an old abandoned school where her mother studied. There they find out that the place is haunted and they find an old diary written by her mother in which she tells how to seal away ghosts. Later they find out that due to a nearby construction, many objects used to seal away ghosts were destroyed and now they have to seal them again. So basically the plot is about these kids sealing ghosts each episode. So yeah, you can tell there are a lot of ghosts. Some are original, yet some are inspired, but in the end they are always something new and different.
The cast is just some kids going to school, yet everyone has a distinct personality: one is a nerd, one is pervert, one is a psychic, one is a cry baby and one is… the main hero. So while the good guys cast is nothing truly great, the villain cast is what makes you watch this.
The graphics are old, but appropriate, and most importantly is that they make sense. Character models are well done, and the ghost models are particularly disturbing. Music is great, always puts you in the right mood, and the sound effects of a spook creeping behind you has a good impact on you.
What ruined it for me was the FUCKING ADV DUB. They basically rewrote the ENTIRE SCRIPT! The only thing they left is the basic plot structure and storyline. Everything else was rewritten. Why? To make it into a fucking comedy. Only they didn’t make it into a comedy, they made it a fucking joke. First, they changed character background like having our main hero’s mother being a lesbian, or the vocation of Momoko was changed from a psychic to that of an evangelical, Pentecostal Christian. I don’t even know what Pentecostal means, yet we have such a character. Why? Do you think such a character is funny? I don’t. At one point I thought she will start a crusade against… everything in existence. Also they made the nerd to be a Jew and they make fun of him a lot. Yeah, these guys from ADV are racists. To give an example ,,He’ll probably go to Hell anyway cause he’s Jewish” or ,,Run as if a big black guy is chasing you”. I arrest my case. Also, even if this is an English dub, sometimes they don’t make sense. Instead of words you hear some weird animal raping noise. I think it for comic relief, like there is one little kid they want to make him look retarded, he goes like this sometimes ,,Whew ha waw bjele hewlef hawawdaw… bwhahahaha”. I’m like ,,WHAT THE FUCK?”. Is this funny? Hearing a kid act like a moron? Of course this is the same kid that says ,,Oh where is the secret room with the bitches to fuck, I want to get laid” The kid is an 8 year old for Christ sake. Also they have them say thing like ,,Did you smoke it all, you son of a bitch” or ,,Where is the booze”. What am I watching, Ghost Stories or South Park? Also they make a lot of references to modern pop culture and television shows. But the most weird and awkward moments were these… I can’t believe I heard them… so they discover that the true ghost was a portrait of some guy that look like Beethoven and Mozart, but the main hero says… I still can’t believe she said it… ,,A portrait of Antonio Banderas?” What? Are you saying that fuck-face looks like Antonio Banderas? He doesn’t even come close to Antonio. In fact Banderas is the last thing which crossed my mind when I looked at that picture. But what steals the cake is this: a teacher telling a story with a life lesson in it. Want to hear it? I bet you do, so here it is ,,After the guy got married, when he fucked his wife he released only inside”. That’s the story. It doesn’t get more retarded than this.
To be fair, there are some good jokes which brought a smile and occasionally laughter to my face, but overall this dub ruins the mood. It’s like they would make a dub of Death Note where all they say are fart jokes. If you want an anime with an eerie atmosphere and some good ghost stories, then check this one out, but in original. But if you want some retarded humor that may give you a few laughs, then try the ADV dub, cause I promise you this… you haven’t seen nothing like it.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
OOOOOk… time to finish up with the Shit Marathon. I know I dragged it for a long time, but I had a bit of setbacks. At least I didn’t post anything else or watch anything else, so… you could still say I did a Marathon. Soon I will put these dreaded memories behind me, but now I think it’s time to dig in a big pile of shit. And I can say we certainly saved the worst for the last. What can I briefly say about it? Well let’s put it this way… if there would be a town called Retard-town, then UFO Ultramaiden would be the mayor, and FLCL and s-CRY-ed would be on the city council (more like the shitty council).
From the start, I wasn’t expecting much, cause just by looking at the genre you can already guess that this is not my thing. But I could put up with this kind of stuff if it would make some sense. And… yes, it makes sense. If you would discard the freaks walking around, the stupid and cheesy explanations and the overall retarded and caveman-simple plot, then it would make sense why you are watching it. The setting is some kind of futuristic era, when humankind developed space-travel and interacts with a shit-load of many intergalactic fucker-nauts and astro-bastards. That would explain all the freaks walking around. But the plot (if you can call it that) revolves around Kazuto and Valkyrie. Val is the one you see on the image. Both of them. Confused? Well apparently when Val crashed into Kazuto’s bath-house, which he runs, Val killed him. So since she cares so much for total strangers (maybe some kind of fetish, I don’t know) she gives half her soul to Kazuto so he could live. Hmmm… ok, but does it heal injuries? If a giant ship crashed into my house and killed me, I would be more worried with the heavy injuries sustained, NOT ABOUT A HALF OF A SOUL WHICH DOESN’T DO JACK SHIT! But anyway, since she did that, now she has a connection with Kazuto. The only problem is that she turned into an 8 year old. So in order to change back to the way she was, she has to kiss Kazuto, and then she can also unleash her ridiculous amount of power. So now they both try to run the bath-house, and as the series progresses, more and more characters come along to join in. But the plot has NO consistency. It’s just a bunch of random stuff mashed together to form this anime. There is nothing linear, and there is nothing to keep you going really, cause frankly… nothing changes. Each episode is the same: no matter what happens during the episode, the ending is always the same. It’s like no matter what happens, nothing seems to influence any of the characters and any of the ,,story”. In conclusion, instead of a good plot they just have a bunch of shitty sub-plots.
As I said before, this is the mayor of Retard-town. Everything makes no sense, and it’s so cheesy you’re wondering ,,Did those who made this ACTUALLY intended to release it?”. Seriously, I’m like ,,What were they thinking?”. How can one come up with this, it’s bad. Everything that happens, I presume it’s to be for comic relief, but the jokes are on you if you watch this piece of shit for comedy. Since they placed the setting in an intergalactic era and introduced a bunch of ridiculous aliens, then why not just put the shit-cherry on top. Everyone is over-reacting (if you could believe something like this in an anime), and doing ridiculously insane things. For example, a maid of Val thinks Kazuto is Val’s fiancé so she zaps every girl he interacts with. With what does she zap? A gun that transforms every human into a cat-like person. That is, the person who was zapped grows cat ears and a tail. Yeah, I’m stunned at the amount of originality. So this new breed must serve Val and Kazuto under the direct orders of the crazy maid. And crazy is really an understatement, she looks like she belongs in the Looney-bin (that is a place for people that think monsters live in their ass and that Mickey Mouse is actually real). So I can give hundreds of examples, but my point is the same. One recurring moment will be the moment they transform from child state into adult state. It takes for like 1 minute, and I understand showing it once, BUT WHY THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME. It’s not like something changes, it’s always THE SAME.
The cast is pretty standard, just one guy and a bunch of girls (some of which are aliens). Their personalities are simple and cliché. The guy is dense and can see that there are certain people who love him, there is a big-breasted girl which is Val’s sister and acts like an antagonist at first, but befriends everyone at the end, and the are enough girls to form love-triangles, but ,,unfortunately” one can’t express her feelings (obviously) and there is another who wants to express her feelings, but isn’t given the opportunity (or something like that). So these 2 act as rivals for Val, but all she cares about is being together with Kazuto and enjoy a care-free life full of love. How sweet. But even more ridiculous are the alien characters. If our galaxy really had such races living in it, then it’s one fucked-up galaxy. The male aliens look like they were drawn by a kinder-gardener. Some look like pink blobs, others are small white sackless balls, and… A GIANT BANANA WITH LEGS? Ok, but why do the female aliens look so sexy. You constantly get a nude view of them with their giant breasts, and the only difference between human females and alien females, is that the alien ones have only one animal feature like a dog tail, or cat ears or horns. What is this, the anime version of Doctor Munroe’s Island?
The presentation is lame, but I didn’t expect much. They feel appropriate for 2002, so that’s kind of a compliment. Character models are simple for some and ridiculously colored and over-complex for others. Music is… shit. And the English dub, like for many (if not all) anime from this genre simply sucks. It’s like they didn’t even try, they just picked some amateurs of the street and said ,,Hey, want to do the voice work for a piece of crap” and the amateurs were like ,,Sure, yeah, have nothing better to do to waste my time”.
In the end I was thinking for who it was intended. Little kids is out of the question, cause there is a fair amount of nudity. And a more mature audience is out of the question, cause it’s to retarded. It’s stupid, it’s so cute that it’s making me sick, and presentation sucks Pikachu’s anal fur. Overall, it’s a piece of shit, end of story.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
When I first saw this anime on Animex, I was sceptical. I didn't follow it through. The second time they showed it, I thought, why the hell not since there are no other anime worth watching on that channel anyway since I've seen most of it.
Oh boy I was in for a surprised. It turned out to be quite a saga for me.
The creator, Tow Ubakata took the concept of the real Chevalier D'Eon who was discovered to be a man upon his death and turned it into a fantasy action novel that involved 'poet' and spells. Ubakata managed to retain the facts of the actual person history in the midst of supernatural flick that he created. I was impressed.
The story is about D'Eon de Beaumont who was set out to find the truth behind his sister's death/murder, Lia de Beaumont. The restless soul of her sister used his body as a vessel to seek revenge. He with three other friends become spies for French King, Louis IV. His majesty order is to regain the Royal Psalm and bring it back to Versailles. Along the way, he learned the truth about everything that makes him question his loyalty to the country.
In order to fully understand what is going on, you need to pay attention to the heavy dialogue, especially when it comes to the psalm which wasn't fully explained till the end. It was rather slow-paced in the beginning since it takes a while to get going but kicked ass when it does. The story is full of unexpected twists that will keep you on the edge till the end. Just brace yourself for the climax. There are some heartfelt moments in it too that makes watching this oh so worth it.
It took me a while to get fully acquianted with the characters because there are many with complicated names to boot. But I get the hang of it soon enough. Durand, Robin and Teillagory are the three friends that accompany D'Eon on his mission. The viewers will soon introduced to other characters like Maximilien Robespierre, an acquaintance of Lia and King Louis IV. I am rather fond of the sub-characters if compared to D'Eon. Apart from his love to his country and the people around him, D'Eon is pretty blah. Durand, Robin and Maximilien are my favorites due to their interesting characters. They gave out a sense complexity and mysteriousness.
I didn't know this series was produced by Production I.G, the same production studio that produced Ghost In The Shell until the third episodes when I did some research on the real D'Eon. So obviously, there are little faults to be found in the animation. They have done their research for the building, setting and characters designs which turned out to be very detailed, and managed to capture the feeling of monarchy. The swordfights are clean, swift and brutal, as expected of the knights in that era.
I like the OP and ED but I won't say that they are my favorites. I should say that the rich orchestral background music plays a role in this anime too. It further enhanced the atmosphere and added the element of suspense and drama. It was to be expected since it is from Michiru Ooshima, the same man that is responsible for Fullmetal Alchemist. I couldn't find any flaws with the voice acting either so they must have done a good job. Surprisingly, even the dubbed version is not that bad.
I really enjoyed watching this series and have no qualm what so ever to rewatch it. If you like to watch something with unique plot, this is definitely the one you should put on the list. However if you are those people who watch anime for the action or moe-ness, forget it. You'll be thoroughly disappointed.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Ohhh… it’s been a while since I wrote my last review. Yeah, I kind of had to interrupt my Shit Marathon due to some annoying distant relatives coming over (you probably know how that’s like) but now I’m ready and willing, and what better way to celebrate their leave than with a review of a good steaming pile of astronomical shit. Now from the start know that I didn’t watch this completely. Like I watched it for 4 episodes, understood it was no point, got annoyed, saw it for the retarded rat crap it was, just skipped a whole lot of episodes, saw some more useless stuff, then went into a 2 day meditation to cleanse myself. Of course that didn’t work so all I had left to do was… yeah you guessed it… a review.
When I think about Ragnarok I think that there is no better description than the tag. Just look at it. RPG? What the fuck? So that would make Ghost in the Shell a 3rd person tactical shooter? And does that mean Code Geass is an RTS? Well as it turns out Ragnarok is based on an online game. Well, now the title makes sense, I know why it is ,,The animation”, but… why? With all the shitty video-game based anime, why in the name of fuck would you bother with this one? One might say that since it is online it can do its own story, own characters… and yeah, they could and they did, but… to bad it all reeks of SKUNK ASS. Yeah, is it a surprise?
I can’t say much about the plot cause I didn’t see much like any normal reviewer should do, but with what I saw I can already predict everything: someone want to unleash evil, there is a brother who was supposed to be dead, but he isn’t so he sided with the evil, his ex-best friend will fight him and kill each other, and the 2 main heroes will kill the main antagonist, happy-ending, whoop-de-fucking-doo. I know that maybe for some the plot is what it killed this one, and my complaints would be considered knit-picking, but I think it’s shit-picking.
What ruined it for me is this… at first I didn’t know it was based on an online game, but by the end of episode 4 I started seeing red life bars and blue magic power bars over the characters. And after some research my theory proved correct. There IS an online game. WOW… this sucks… At first it seemed like small stuff, but as it progressed it got more and more retarded. So, you wanna hear it? I bet you do. So at first what struck me as weird is that many said the word ,,party”. Not party in a ,,Hey where’s the booze” way. Like ,,wanna join our adventure party” kind of way. Who says that? Doesn’t it sound weird? They should say ,,group” or like ,,want to tag along”. Also you can expel members from your party. Guess you might as well delete the facebook contact. Well anyway, the second thing was when someone mentioned ,,adventurers rules”. Ok… so are there rules? I guess the administrator keeps everything in check, so no cheating on the server. But what was even weirder was when one guy said ,,I’m adventurer level 1”. Ok… like who knows that? Is there a magical number over your head which indicates that? And why say this… ,,What skill are you” ,,I’m support”. Ok… so you have stuff like that? No one (no sane person that is), says ,,I’m support skill, I can heal you and power you up”. Yeah, cause that’s what you hear from healers (who by the way evolve into the priestess class). All the time they say ,,Heal” and ,,Blessing” (to increase luck) and ,,Increase agility” (self explanatory). Did you ever see stuff like that before? Also they have potions. Yeah, to restore hit point or magic point. And guess what they’re called… Seriously, I want you to take a wild fucking guess… Red potion and Blue potion. And I guess I don’t need to explain what does what. Also there are characters with ,,item bags” which have an unlimited amount of storage capacity. Also you see the main character going through town, searching for quests and getting ,,permission”, so in episode 2 they have the quest to kill a golden roach, and there are other online character walking around, but it’s the main heroes that kill it, gain a level up, and all the other characters are praising them. So as the main guy grasps the fact that he actually killed that bastard a card with the roach appears in his hand. That’s it, it appears there, nobody came and gave it to him like ,,Congratulations, here’s your fucking card. Go choke on it”. No, it just appears. And all the other characters start throwing shit at them. At first I though they were angry, but then I realized that they are actually giving them loot, like a reward. And guess what they do? Yeah like in any other MMORPG, they sell the loot. And they say that. They say ,,We sold the loot, let’s go after more on our next adventure”. So there are other things, but you get the idea.
The characters are dumb and uninspiring. The cast is big, but the fact that most of them, by skill are warriors, support or magician, you can probably guess many look the same and, well… are the same. Both the heroes and the villains suck. But it’s the main antagonist that pops up in my mind. His name is The Dark Lord. Uuuuuu… so is Sauron in this anime? What about Frodo and the One Ring? I mean come on… the fact that Dark Lord is cliché enough doesn’t cut, noooo, why not give him a name at all. Even Bambi would be good, like ,,Dark Lord Bambi”, but no… it’s Dark Lord. It’s like his parents fucked in a car and had him, and they never gave a shit about him for the rest of their lives. If you have such an uncreative antagonist, then you might as well blow the DVD you made up in your ass, and not sale it to the unsuspecting public who might actually like the game or the concept. And if you dream about comedy here, then you might as well dream of a giant ant snorting cocaine of an elephant’s snout.
Presentation – bad. Graphics look outdated, character models look like they were recycled from other anime, voice cast is annoying and the music is lame.
In conclusion, this is… the greatest offence to the world of online gaming, and if you think of watching it, then do yourself a favor and just don’t. I beg you. It will kill a lot of brain cells, I assure you. To put it differently... you might as well watch the actuall game and not play it, cause that's how this anime makes me feel.
"The Search for Vengeance" is made of equal parts: present-story and back-story, with sudden, unexpected transitions between the present and the past. The story is about Colin MacLeod, once a Scottish ruler, now a merciless immortal looking for vengeance. During a battle against the Roman Empire, he is left for dead by the emperor, Octavius, the man that killed his wife, but is given the power of immortality. The only bad thing is that although he is immortal, he can still feel the pain, and also, he will lose the immortality once his head is cut off.
Now in a post-apocalyptic New York City, our hero arrives on the scene and joins rebel Dahlia and an underground band of freedom fighters in a desperate battle against Octavius, who is now a dictator and rules the city with his army of robotic sentinels and scientists working on some top-secret project that are meant to wipe out the underground resistance once and for all. In these battles, we also get flashbacks to Colin's past, the battles he's fought with Octavius, and his undying love for his wife, Moya. The one thing I actually liked about this movie was the visual production. I rarely was pulled out of the visuals to question or second guess what was done.
The vocals and soundtrack were good, but not stunning. It was clear, and the emotions came through at the right times. Considering the great visuals, the sound was a crap in comparison.
The plot was decent. It started well. The potential for interesting characters was there at every turn. But they didn't integrate into the Highlander mythology well at all. We have Colin as the Protagonist, and Marcus as the Antagonist, are both just cardboard cutouts. Worse, Marcus is cut from better cardboard than Colin. He at least has a Darth Vader imperial feel that doesn't need much explaining. He is also this typical bad boy sexy dude that will have you falling for him, although he will be cutting kitties while punching babies in the face. Colin is a young goof at the beginning, and has grown into an old, angry, and bitter goof by the time the action of the film picks up. Even his guardian angel that gave him the immortality points this out. I just was not impressed by his story, or the general arc of this film.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
I was first acquainted with Kusuriuri when I saw him in Bakeneko arc (eps. 9-11) in Ayakashi ~ Japanese Classic Horror. When I learned that it will get it own series as a sequel, I made sure that I get hold of it.
You cannot talk about Mononoke if you do not talk about the art. Just like its predecessor, the animators, Toei Animation do not afraid to experiment with the art. It has its own distinct style of animation. It was part of the reason that got me hooked right away. It is very different, in a very good bold and imaginative kinda way. Seriously, it was tantalizing and gorgeously unique! They compensate the two dimensional, almost paper-cut appearance with vibrant and captivating colorful backgrounds, textures and designs. In a sense, it makes you feel like you are part of a very beautiful painting. They definitely used the art to its full potential to present and distinguished the stories. It also used a lot of camera movements to add suspense and with a well control pace it has successfully exact the desired tension.
Mononoke is composed of 5 different stories which are only related to Kusuriuri, the medicine seller, our mysterious protagonist. Each story takes 2-3 episodes which features a different supernatural, more often than not, evil spirit or most commonly known as mononoke. It was up to Kusuriuri (who is a total bishie by the way) to vanquish or exorcise the mononoke. In order to do so, he needs to uncover the Katachi (shape/form), Makoto (truth), and Kotowari (reason) of the spirit. However it isn't always about the dead. Each story delved deep to the heart of everything and it is not surprising when everything that occurred is related to the living.
Kusuriuri is the only constant character in the series. His attraction is definitely lies in his demeanour, which is very unique whichever way you look at it, not to mention mysterious. Very mysterious. Some of his deadpan sarcastic comments will certainly makes you laugh at the oddest of time. He is a character that you could not help but like. In my case, fell in love with. He is one of the unforgettable characters out there.
The other characters vary with each stories but still get a decent development due to the nature of the story despite being 2-3 episodes in length. These characters are not the typical type characters (as in do not expect good looking characters). They were designed with the story in mind and the ingenuity of it in my opinion, worked wonders.
The appropriate sound effects (or lack of it) enhance the whole eerie atmosphere. The silence in most scenes does most of the work to creep you out. The voice actors did a job well done too, especially with those screeches and screams of horror. As for the OP and ED, I don't find it interesting but I guess it fits right in with the weird tune of the whole show.
This is one of the anime that I won't get tired of watching again and again. I give it a 10 for enjoyment.
The enticing, attention-grabbing, well written stories and the excellent directing and editing makes Mononoke a masterpiece. A must watch to all anime lovers/appreciators. If that is not good enough reason for you to pick up this series, maybe a threat to shove a foot up your ass can convince you otherwise?
Another movie I watched during my movie marathon was Origin - Spirits of the Past. Well, the movie began with a great start. The art is just simply amazing! Absolutely breathtaking sequences. Only the opening sequence alone is worth seeing the movie for, and the music that plays over it is gorgeous. The movie presents us the classic struggle between man and nature, as it is displayed in some crumbling town, a militaristic city, and the dangerous forest. Modern humanity as we know it is represented in this movie by a man and a girl who have each reawakened in this distorted future where man is at war with nature. They both decide that nature should be the boss on this planet. However, the good stuff basically ends there. In short, this movie is great visually, but it doesn't have much of a plot.
The first half of the movie was actually great, but the second half is terrible. Basically, we have some guy chasing this girl for a while and screaming her name a few times. Then he realizes that, hey, everyone can be at peace by just changing their perspective and guess what? Fucking everyone else agrees with him and they all become better people. Even if the movie may not be the anime of the year nor even have the best story, nevertheless it's still something worth watching.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Couple of years ago, a friend of mine lent me his DVD when I told him I was yet to be acquainted with Onizuka. He could not believe it and literally forced me to watched it right away. Putting aside my studies (Yeah, I was in college back then), I dedicated my next couple of days to finish the anime.
It was time well spent.
After watching the first episode, I was totally enamoured by Onizuka Eikichi and his ridiculous crazy ways of handling matters in life. Here he was, an ex-biker gang leader, an emotionally fragile loser with no life, less social skills and a good heart whose aspiration is to be a great teacher. Mixed that all up and you get one character that fucked up a lot and get carried away from time to time with violence yet can't help being a good guy.
Onizuka was thrown into a class where the students have to deal with their own set of problems (a sad accurate reflection of modern Japan youth). Between skirt chasings and torturing the student, he managed to help them solved those problems, using his unconventional (read: retarded) methods which provide plenty of comedy and humorous situations. Onizuka was in the heart of it all. He, more than anything, what makes GTO as much fun as it is.
He is a one man hero.
The story is somewhat cliche and is considered episodic where several different story settings take place. However they are some very clever surprises and plot devices to keep the viewer poised for more.
The art and animation was adequate for its time but comes across as kinda outdated in this modern days. Nonetheless it fits right in with the mood the show aims to give you.
The voice acting from everybody fits well too with the characters (i'm not talking about the dubbed version). The variety amusing mood-enhancing tunes for background music will perk you up. As for the OP and ED songs, they were decent selections.
While there is a certain moral message to the anime, watch it for the sheer fun value. It will make you laugh, that's for certain, or perhaps it might even make you cry.
Oh boy… Tekken The Motion Picture. Now I want to go off the record and say I fucking love the Tekken franchise, but mostly because of Tekken 3, 4, and 5. But out of curiosity I read about 1 and 2 on Wiki. So the plot in the movie revolves around the first game, but as with any video-game based anime… THEY FUCKED UP.
To be fair, there are some things I actually enjoyed. And these are 2 scenes and the character Kazuya. First let’s talk about the scenes. The first shows Nina Williams fighting her sister Anna to end their eternal rivalry with blood. Then Anna mouths off as how some guy used Nina but actually loves Anna. Now in this moment Nina sees a miniature T-Rex camouflage himself like The Predator behind Anna and makes a terrified look. Anna thinks that it’s because something she said, but… oh no, here comes the T-fucking-REX. Anna screams like a banshee, but the T-Rex bites her head off. Well you don’t see what he bites, but you see a lot of blood. Now that… is awesome. I would say it’s the best scene in the movie, but here comes the second… Kazuya fights a T-Rex himself. Now here you clearly see that the producers are fans of King Kong. Remember when King Kong fights a T-Rex and beats the shit out of him? Remember how he ends the scene? He rips the T-Rex’s jaw off. Same thing happens here, only with more brutality. And… Kazuya. If it weren’t for him, I would even lose interest in mentioning these moments. He is the main hero, but the fact that he only wants revenge, made a pact with the Devil to do so, and kills anyone in his way (literally, he almost killed a girl) makes a real heartless bastard. It’s hard too sympathize with him, but you come to understand his reasons to kill his father, since his father is the one that threw him off a cliff and left him to die, only so Kazuya would get stronger by this act. But all that rescued Kazuya was his pact with the Devil. He has many sides to him, but I like his more evil side, so it was disappointing to see that his good side won. Not to mention it was kind of cliché.
But now to mention the things that fuck it up. First thing – the plot. It follows the 1st game, but only loosely. Instead of concentrating on the main plot, or making it a bit more mysterious, for those that never played or heard of Tekken, they just made some subplots nobody gives a shit about. After 20 minutes they decide to get rid of the main plot, like ,,Ohoho… main plots, we can’t stand them. Just… here, get rid of them, throw them down the toilet. Do you want some tea?”. Everything is given and explained right at that moment, and now all that’s left for the main plot is just to see Kazuya beat the shit out of his dad. But there, things just go way out of hand. Instead of following the plot of the games, in which Kazuya throws his father off a cliff and claim leadership of the Mishima Zaibatsu, instead we see Jun, a girl from Kazuya’s past, who also entered the Tournament talk him out of it. This scene reminds me of Star Wars. Kazuya is one that almost fell to the Dark Side, but Jun talks him back to the Light Side of the Force. What a persuasive Jedi. And not just this deviation from the already broken and weak plot makes this movie crap, but also these subplots of a cyborg that wants to save a little girl, a woman that wants to take revenge on Kazuya’s dad for burning her village, Nina and Anna’s rivalry, and I can’t recall other. But these subplots serve no purpose; they are just to show off some more characters. Now I said show off some characters, but they do a poor job at it. They show some important, like Kazuya, Jun, Heihachi and detective Lei Wulong, but why show me the cyborg, a sumo wrestler, that chick who wants to take revenge and… A BOXING KANGAROO? Now I can handle the cyborg and all, but what’s the deal with this animal? Were they trying to be funny? I know he is a character from the games, but he’s only there for comic relief. And that’s what he is here. Even Lei said ,,Is this some kind of joke?” I’m afraid it is my friend, but I’m not laughing. I wanted to see more of the favorites like Paul Phoenix, King and Yoshimitsu… but they only have a brief cameo. And I say show off some characters, but they do a poor job at this due to 2 critical flaws. One is that the character models are shit, and not just due to graphics. They just messed up the character. Since when does Lei wear traditional Chinese clothes and has blue hair? And I know that Kazuya has big eyebrows, but… THEY AREN'T SUPPOSED TO MAKE HIM LOOK LIKE A FRIGGIN’ OWL! And he is skinnier then how he should be. And the second flaw is the battles, which is the greatest offense to this movie. This is supposed to be an action based on a video game where a bunch of people beat the crap out of each other. So why do these battles last so fucking short? There is one part in which Lei says ,,Each fighter here can kill you in a second”. Too bad each battle lasts just as much. Lei really is a detective. And I say battle, but most are just one-side, if you know what I mean. It’s just one character delivering a punch, and that’s it. For example, there is a scene in which the cyborg can only enter the tournament, which now that I mention takes place on an island, but the only way he can enter, is if he defeats a guy named Bruce Irwing. Now we get the feeling this will be a good battle, since Bruce shows off as being the world champ at Tai boxing, but he only lands one punch, brakes his arm, and then the cyborg sends him flying in the ocean. And that’s the end of that, no more Bruce. What a waste of time. If they really wanted to cut short the main plot, then I would’ve settled for a small OVA, instead of a movie with all these stupid subplots. And as with all shitty anime, the ending is stupid. It shows Jin, our future hero, come up to his mother who is sitting under a tree and tells her he wants to finish reading a story. She agrees, and when she gets up the wind blows, and she stops, opens her eyes wide, and says ,,The wind has shifted” (yeah I know, it’s cliché). This gives you the impression that something is gonna happen, you wait for that to happen, but that’s like waiting for a flying ostrich shooting laser out off it’s ass. You only see some stupid forest animals looking and Jin and Jun going home. How cute ^^ (this is the first time in my life I use this smiley, and I have no idea why I mentioned this, and I’m sure you are probably reading this for a purpose, but I’m just messing with you).
In conclusion, Tekken The Motion Picture only further cements my point on how you shouldn’t bother with video-game based anime, cause they suck ass through a straw.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
This movie is so bad it should be fucking illegal to watch it. Don't get me wrong. in the first ten minutes, the movie was able to hold my interest and it seemed as if it really might be good, HOW(fucking)EVER, it quickly became this sad, warped, Red Riding Hood fairy-tale, with an occasional automatic weapon killing losers. Near the beginning of the movie, it seemed that the main Rambo character was on drugs, which would have made this horrible movie watchable had I actually had some. As the movie progressed, it became increasingly painful for my brain to watch and just ridiculously overcomplicated. In Jin-Roh, they threw in what people call flash-backs, dreams, or conflicts within the main character. That is some sad shit to look at for 90 minutes. However, by the end you find out that they essentially lied to you about the whole situation since the main character doesn't even think those things to begin with, he knows exactly what's going on the whole time. WHAT THE FUCKING POINT OF SHOWING ME THAT??? Melodramatic is what this shit is called. During the first three fourths of this I was bored to tears. It plays the same grave-like melancholy atmosphere over and over and over and over again with almost no actual plot development. Among the movies I never ever want to see again, this definitely tops the list. It may be beautiful to look at but the plot is so confusing that I found it too hard understanding what it was all about. For some reason the men behind the script thought it was a good idea to put three different crime fighting groups with almost exactly the same names into this movie. Well, they did a fine job of confusing me at least.
The movie was ridiculous and it felt like it was at least 6 hours of my time wasted. I would give this a zero if I could, but I can't as the animation was pretty decent.
Monday, July 20, 2009
After seeing 2 episodes of CANAAN I'm actually kind of confused whether this series will be the next boom, or just another wave of disappointment that year 2009 just keeps bringing. The game is just an adaptation of the video game called "428". So let' just hope they don't fuck it up like they usually do with adaptations. Honestly, I really liked the first episode. The production is amazing. The music was great, and so was the animation. The fight scenes in CANAAN are pretty sick. If you have already seen the first episode, then you'll probably have the same question on your mind that i do: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON??? The first 2 episodes just keep on building a plot but you never get an actual grip on what is happening. It all happens in Tokyo, and we see some virus, then some mercenaries, some soldiers, some fighting, some awesome chick with some extra senses and no fucking connection. This might be a series that you need to play the game to understand the anime, but I hope that isn't the case here. Well let's just hope that they do a good job explaining things up.
Expectation rating 9/10
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Okay, so if you've read all of the other reviews on the internet then you know that the animation of this film is awesome! "Vexille" borrows liberally from countless sci-fi films from the past several decades most notably "Blade Runner", "Escape From New York", "Matrix" and "Dune" as well as other Japanese anime films including "Ghost In The Shell" and of course "Appleseed".
Unfortunately, that and the soundtrack were the only good parts of this movie. The effects were nice and definitely passable, but the weak plot of the movie is tiring. Some of the worst character development, some mediocre and plain dialog that seemed to be aimed towards children under 7 years old, characters that look too much alike - yeah, I get it that it's a style, but some of the character look like cheap duplicates of one another e.g. Maria & Vexille.
And now a little more about the plot. Once the veil of mystery is lifted about like half an hour in the movie, and explanations start being poured, the whole film starts to degenerate pretty quick. As in all action movies, we have an evil genius type of bad guy with motivation for...well, taking over the world, of course, because he needs some test subjects for an experiment. Really? After so many fucking movies about evil masterminds, did they think it would sound believable to you? Granted, it's all fiction, but it has to be at least a little authentic. Anyway, the so-called good guys aren't much better. In fact, they're extremely "clichesque": we have the main girl, who's quite emotional in spite of being part of the film's version of Delta Force. Then we have a hard ass girl. Both girls are nothing more than cheep copies. Then we have some dude they're both after, who does absolutely fucking nothing except getting captured, thus has to be rescued by the two girls. Then we have...the actual plot. Which is full of holes so frigging big that the dude from 300 Spartans could throw in the whole Persian army inside it and there would still be room for the 300 Spartans to take a dump in the hole. You'll see what I meant if you decide to watch this. If you don't, well, basically there's a team taking over Japan, on its own, and turning it into a "happy" wasteland.
Overall, I guess Vexille was a good combo between action and CGI, a true eye catching movie that will hook any anime/robot lover from start to finish, but might leave others calling 911.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Alright, it’s time for more mind torture, and what better mind-rotting device than Crystal Triangle. If you want to know, Crystal Triangle is better than art of fighting. But that’s not saying much. That’s just saying this shit smells better than the previous shit, but it’s still shit. What I can say well about this one is that I won’t have to retell it, so I can review it, and point out its many flaws. But there are so many things to discuss which really make me wish I can do video reviews.
First of let’s start with the plot. At first it seems like it could be something decent, you know, an archeologist looking for the hidden message of God. Now of the start you can clearly see the Indiana Jones inspiration. Archeologist looking for lost treasures. And he also looks like Indiana Jones, especially when he’s wearing a brown jacket and a hat. I know many people say that he looks like Jones, but I felt the need to say it again. The story is set in the year 198X. Yeah, no joke, and I didn’t forget the last number. It really is just X. What were they too lame to put the last number? If they wanted to hide the year, they shouldn’t have put a year at all. Instead it’s just 198X. Did they think that the ’80 would last forever? Wow… it gets soo mysterious, I’m hyped. As the movie starts this archeologist, Kimishiro, together with some bitch I didn’t bother to remember the name, find the temple which contains the key to Gods message. WOW… talking about not building tension. If it’s a hidden message, isn’t he supposed to look for it? Also, the moment he arrives, he gets attacked by some guerilla. The bitch says it’s the latest AK-47 model. What’s the difference? All AK-47’s are the same. If it’s a different model, well then… it’s not an AK-47. But guess in the year 198X they have different ,,types’’ of AK-47’s. So he shoots a conveniently placed stack of dynamites, find a car and runs away with the chick. So they go to an airport in the middle of nowhere, get on it, it gets hijacked by guerillas and then suddenly… he’s back home. Yeah… his 2 students thought he was dead and mourned his passing, but here he comes, alive and well. But how did he get here? Fucking figure out yourselves. So he still has the key to the message of God (the key is a cube), he goes to a laboratory, find some triangles inside the cube, cut that bastard up, and there you go, you have the triangles. So from there it gets weirder and weirder. Suddenly some guy who can control people and blast energy waves from his mouth appears, then we go see a temple where a priestess who tagged along with Kimishiro starts flying around, her eyes glowing red, and Kimishiro ironically asks ,,Hey Miyabi, are you possessed?”. It’s like ,,If you hadn’t figured out yourselves, then here’s a clue”. Then all of a sudden KGB and CIA (which is the chick you first see) enter the scene and blow shit up, then some Hib clan appears, which are all freaks by the way, then turns out the Hib are aliens, then it turns out there is a star that will destroy all life on Earth in a 26 million year cycle (why such a random number) called ,,The Evil Star”, then the guy discovers the Force, goes Jedi on the aliens ass, then they find the temple of the message of God which turns out to be a spaceship, then you go for 10 shots of Vodka. The story is soo dumb and I don’t know if it’s simple or overcomplicated. But now it’s time for me to tear this abomination apart.
First off, what struck me as weird and unnecessary is the fact that some characters talk in English or Russian, but only when they feel like too. Let me explain. The voice actors are Japanese and they usually talk in Japanese. But for internationalism some speak in English, but it's because the characters they depict are not Japanese. And the Japanese characters understand what they are saying. But the Japanese characters talk back in Japanese. And those that try in eng understand the Japanese. So how about... JUST ALL TALK IN FUCKING JAPANESE. Not only it’s not necessary, it’s also ridiculous, cause note, I wrote ,,try” and not actually ,,speak” in English and most all, Russian. It sounds stupid, like for example, what’s supposed to sound like‘’What the hell has she done’’, sounds more like ‘’What the heal hiss he door”, and ‘’Excavation site’’ sound like ‘’Exclamation right’’. But the Russian is just… ungh. If you know Russian like I do, then you know that what they say doesn’t even come close to what it’s supposed to sound like. To me it sounds more like 2 rhinoceros that are mating. Second, there is an Ancient Language, which is the Language of Gods. Ok, so it’s like an ancient advanced civilization, all good… but here comes a line that’s so stupid, it BEGS an explanation… ,,Only professor Kimishiro can read this language IN THE ENTIRE WORLD”. WOW… what a weird revelation, and what a fucked up coincidence. If he is the only one, then who taught him? And if he taught himself, then why can’t other people do it? They were really going wild with cheap ideas. Next are all the weird, and sometimes useless references. I already talked about Indiana Jones’ influence, but there are other celebrities as well. But the most striking are Great Grandpa Rasputin (which is implied that the KGB member present is Rasputin’s grandson, which is fucked up), then comes God Jehova… now correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t Jesus the Son of God, and not… well, you know… GOD. And plus, why name him Jehova, the way the Jews named Jesus, it doesn’t make any sense. But the most notable reference, the one that steals the cake is this… ,,Nostradamus says that the word ,,Bow” refers to Japan”. No joke… this is a line straight from the movie. And don’t forget this we are talking about Ancient Language, so Nostradamus referred to Japan in Ancient Language. Wow… Nostradamus knew about Japan in his day and age, and not only that, he already referenced the word ,,bow” to it. Next is the fact that the Hib clan is all made out of aliens. Now they were really smoking crack. They want the Evil Star to destroy all life on Earth so they can rule it. Hmmmm… well that kind of defeats the purpose since they will be dead together with all life on Earth. Plus, the Evil Star, what does it remind you off? Let me give you a hint… it’s still a star, but starts with Death. Yeah you get the picture. There are so many references, and it’s nice to pay tribute to a franchise, but when you copy an idea, and make the movie shit, then you just fucked up. There are other things I would like to mention, but it’s already longer than it should be, so I’m just gonna finish with the message. A green little fuck which looks like a half-hatched larvae and has a squeaky annoying voice, says that the Earth has enough energy to destroy the Evil Star, but the humans need to work together to stop it, and make a better future. That’s it… that’s the whole message. Well if this is God’s message then all Hippies are Gods, my kinder garden teachers are Gods, I am a God, and my fucking pet cat is a God. And also, when that little green fuck dies, Miyabi says ,,God died, but his message lives”. Ok… so you’re saying that SACKLESS GREEN TESTICLE WAS GOD? You need to have a lot of balls to say that. And the ending sucks, cause it just shows Kimishiro getting his ass drunk.
So in conclusion, what can I say… STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM THIS MONSTROSITY.
Friday, July 17, 2009
This buffalo shit is a timeless mess that anyone even slightly interested in science fiction or animation should watch before they die. I won't explain any part of the story, as that information can easily be found elsewhere. I will simply try to explain how I feel about this movie, and why. After watching this movie for the first time, I felt like my mind had been blown - which is the second best body part to get blown. I really couldn't stop thinking about obnoxious characters. Those of you who voted for Saw 3 for Best Picture Oscar I think will find a certain charm in its brutality and plot about friendship and rivalry between two young gang punks killing about 831.5 people and then trying to kill each other. On top of that, it's also got great action scenes, 'cause, hey, how else do you kill off about 831.5 people? In fact, about fucking 98% of the people shown in the film die before the end of it.
If honestly, the biggest mistake Akira makes is that, if a movie wants to make people think about it's "hidden meaning", for people to try hard to understand its point, the film should at least offer something to draw the viewer in. Something like enjoyable characters, interesting concepts, or at least something just plain nice to look at. Some positive elements that can make one grow to like a movie. Akira does none of this and is, from start to finish, a piece of fucking shit. It may be just a matter of personal taste, but the character designs was horrible. The film is populated by some ugly goblins with shitty dressing habits. Good Lord, what the fuck. How can one possibly be interested by such a cast of characters who look like radiation-deformed Hiroshima wankers, let alone like them?
The first hour or so is very entertaining if you put your brain on "silent mode" and just don't try to think much about the plot...really stunning animation. But then you can't hold back...and start trying to make sense of what the hell you are experiencing...and honnestly, I couldn't figure it out. The same scenes are whipping and the carnage grows (and I started caring less)...by the final half hour it's one big colorful blur of vomit...what's going on? I'm bored...something's gotta happen...it's all going to be explained...what? THE END? oh, never mind;
In my humble opinion, Akira will always remain the most overrated piece of Anime garbage. Good visuals do not make a good movie.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Although Howl's Moving Castle had some great animation and some interesting concepts, the plot was so senseless in so many places that I found myself shaking my head wondering why the hell was I watching this pathetic excuse for crap.
The story (if I'm not mistaken) is about a young hat maker named Sophie, who lives her pathetic life until a curse is put upon her by the evil Witch of the Waste. The curse comes in the form of age, turning little sweet Sophie instantly into a ancient old hag. In order to break the spell (why? you're old...enjoy), she must now find Howl and his moving castle. And to make the curse even funnier, it comes with a spell that she cannot tell anyone about it. So once our heroine meets up with Howl, she's unable to tell him what she needs and instead becomes the moving castle's housekeeper.
The animation in the film was better than average. It was excellently colored and moved in an almost Da Vincish fashion across the screen. But the plot!Oh, the plot! Good lord what the fuck was that ?! There's never an explanation given as to the war that is constantly circling this strange land. Why and how it got started are never fully explained, even though much screen time is given to the machines of war. Why and how the young boy who lives in Howl's castle came to be there are never explained either. Nor is any explanation given to the powers of Calcifer, the fire that drives the castle . And to think that there were some great voices amongst the cast...from Christian Bale, Billy Crystal and Lauren Bacall just to name a few.
I don't mind films that leave a certain amount of exposition up to the viewers interpretation, but there needs to be some rhythm and/or an actual reason for the basic story of a movie. No answers here. This movie will leave you howling for some answers.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
In a futuristic Japan, we have our main protagonist, Rin Ogata, a girl who was a promising ballet dancer, but decided to quit. A couple of years later, this time in college she comes across a club building and soon finds herself intrigued by a what looks like a transforming motorcycle called a Rideback. She soon finds that her unique ballet skills with balance and finesse can help her be one of the best Rideback riders. It has only 12 episodes, and after seeing 3 of them, I really don't see a future in this series. The visuals are beautiful and lively, the sound is passable and the cast is kind of likable. I guess there will be some military action involved, as we see some cut-scenes with some news programs telling us about some resistance war using Ridebacks but so far we only have racing episodes. You should give it a look if you enjoy mecha, as the Ridebacks look pretty awesome.
Expectation rating 8/10
Now let me get this straight, the anime itself is not a tragedy... BUT IT'S A FUCKING TRAGEDY THAT I WATCHED IT. The fact that anime-planet doesn't even account for it is proof enough that this shit shouldn't even exist. Like with my Violence Jack review, I’m afraid I’m gonna have to retell the movie a bit. It’s retarded, yes, but I’m sure none of you will ever watch this crap.
First of, it has such a stupid beginning. The moment it starts it shows the title screen for 15 seconds. That’s bad. It’s like they were ashamed they made it, so they just kept the screen for as long as they could. Then you see a guy, who happens to be the main hero, Ryo, chasing a cat on the side of a building. It’s… pathetic. Then his friend comes in his Ferrari, which also happens to be the main hero, Garcia. What a lousy way to introduce the heroes… one is chasing cats and the other comes by in his car. And it’s right from the start, like there is no tension and no expectations. Garcia makes fun of him like the good friend he is, and Ryo says that he needs to keep the cat away from people like Garcia. Is he saying that Garcia may sexually harass the poor animal? Now I have to say… that’s a big insult. Then for no reason Garcia chases this cat as well, so now you see an even more depressing image of 2 pathetic people chasing one sad cat. She enters an apartment through an open window, they go after her, and Garcia acts like he owns the place. Pours himself a glass of scotch, puts a little ice, then ,,accidentally” drops (or throws) the glass out the window. He looks outside and he sees a woman. Now, instead of apologizing that he almost killed her, he asks ,,Do you want to go for a ride to the beach?”. And he makes this stupid face like he is expecting for her to say ,,Yes”. Of course she leaves, and you never see her again. Well what was the point of all this? Just to show you Garcia is a jackass? Now all of a sudden a guy enters the apartment (it is implied it is his apartment) and is being chased by some thugs. These 2 assholes watch as that guy is shot and killed by the thugs, but don’t help him. And all they do is just say ,,Hi”, smile, kick some ass, and run away. And of course they jump through the window of the 3rd floor and land exactly in the seat of the Ferrari. And they have the cat with them. So will they call the cops? Will they take any action? No, they just say ,,Oh, South Town is tough city”. It’s like they are trying to say ,,Oh, well… shit happens. People die every day, why should we care about what we just saw?” But apparently the thugs think that these guys took a diamond that they are looking for. The leader of the thugs goes back to HQ to report, where they find the exact id of the 2 heroes. How did they find them? It’s not like somebody took a picture of them, and I think the description ,,A guy with a ponytail and white costume” isn’t fitting enough to find such accurate data on our guys, so how did they find them? On facebook? Also there is a screen where they show Ryo’s data and… I’m really not making this up… the data says ,,Special ability: carate”. Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t it Karate? You know… with K not C. Also karate isn’t a ,,special ability”. Reading peoples minds is an ability. Make friends with everyone is an ability. Pulling a skateboard out of your ass is an ability. Karate (or Carate) is not an ability. It’s a fighting style.
Now you see another useless scene of them giving the cat to the owner, but the owner points out that its not her cat, so go look some more you dumb spooky shits. So the thugs attack Ryo and Garcia while they are at Ryo’s house and… it’s stupid. At first they hide by clinging on the ceiling fan. Then they kick the shit out of the thugs. Well what was the point in hiding? None… just like the entire OVA. So Ryo takes on their leader – Bear Killer Jack. WOW… another fucking Jack. But this fat asshole doesn’t even compare. Violence Jack was retarded, but he was threatening and frightening. This is just a tub of lard (kind of like LARDUS from s-CRY-ed). So this teddy bear rapist starts punching Ryo, but Ryo looks so calm and happy, it’s like he doesn’t give a shit. But then Jack kicks him so hard he sends Ryo flying through the room and into the wall. And Ryo is like ,,Ohhhh… you trashed my apartment… now I’m pissed” Ok… so the fact he sent you flying through the room doesn’t count? And plus you trashed the apartment yourself you dumb asshole, when you hid on the fan. So now he discovers some hidden strength and punches Jack through the main door. In the meantime Ryo’s sister (yeah we have one of those) gets kidnapped. For fuck’s sake, isn’t she Ryo’s sister? Doesn’t she train with him in fighting arts? If you played King of Fighters (any one of them) then you know that his sister may well even kick Ryo’s ass, not to mention a thug. So why in the love o… oh never mind. So the thugs tell him to bring the diamond to the casino (like there is only one in the entire town) and they will get back the girl. So they go there without the diamond, and the only thing worth mentioning is that the police officer in charge of capturing the crooks, brings out a wrecking ball, starts pounding a perfect legitimate establishment, and arrests everyone for no reason. It’s supposed to be comical, but I’m guessing you know how I feel right now. So they fail, they go look for the diamond, they find it (don’t ask where) and they go again, this time to the bad guys mansion. After they give the diamond, the boss tells them to go fuck themselves, cause he’s not giving the girl. What an asshole. So he enters a chopper, the chopper takes altitude and now Ryo sees a pool trampoline. Don’t tell me… he’s gonna jump from a fucking pool trampoline on a flying chopper? For fucks sake, have a bit of realism. So he easily overpowers the thugs who held him at gun point, and… couldn’t he do that BEFORE the chopper took of? Instead, now he has to jump around like a fucking asshole. So, he jumps, saves his sister, kicks the shit out of the bad guy, the end. What’s worth mentioning is that Garcia fights a woman, and he says ,,Will you give me your phone number if I defeat you?’’. She’s trying to kill you, you dumb fuck, of course she won’t give you her number, she’s going to jail after this for Christ’s sake. Then the ending, as with any shitty anime, just sucks. It shows Ryo chasing another cat, which by the way, LOOKS IDENTICAL TO THE 1st ONE! But his sister is holding the 1st and she tells Garcia that she can’t go with him to the beach cause she has to wash the cat, Sirius. Sirius is the name of the diamond everybody was chasing. So naturally Garcia shit flipped his wig when he heard this. Then come the lousiest explanation to naming a cat, EVER. She explains that the Egyptians worshipped cats and liked to observe the stars. Sirius is the name of a star. So it is appropriate to name THIS cat Sirius. I don’t see the fucking connection here. Well how about I name my dog ,,Turd-ball” saying that Gauls worshipped wolves, and they also took a shit from time to time. So it is appropriate to name my dog ,,Turd-ball”. And in the end i'd like to ask... WHAT THE FUCK IS WORLD TRADE CENTRE DOING HERE? Wasn't it supposed to be in Manhattan? So what's it doing here, in South Town? I don't know, i just don't give a fuck.
Art of Fighting is a good example of a point I’d like to make clear if I haven’t already – video-game based anime… sucks. Oh God it suck. Take for example Devil May Cry (which I reviewed) or Tekken (which I will review), they have shit written and smudged all over them.
I hope you liked this review and expect some more on all the obscure shit your hearts can handle (it’s a surprise my heart can handle it)
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
"Have you ever fell in love?"
That's the first line of this series. It made me cringed. "Oh god, not another shoujo anime please!" I said.
However, despite that dreaded feelings, I continued watching the rest of the first episode and by the time the ED song was playing, I was hooked, thank goodness.
Hatsukoi Limited (literally means First Love Limited) is a story about a bunch of teenage school girls/boys who are exploring and learning about love. Sounds rather generic, isn't it? Well it is not. Let me explain.
Hatsukoi Limited is a well executed romance anime. It involved a complex love web. The complexities of those loves, paired with the personalities of the characters are what make watching Hatsukoi Limited such an enjoyable ride despite it being only of 12 episodes. Even though the comedy in Hatsukoi Limited was derived from the combination of it's characters, slapstick and timing, I didn't think any of my brain cells died. Everything is done seamlessly and things never get stupid for the sake of comedy which was one of the reason I take pleasure in completing it.
Hatsukoi Limited does not begin and end each story lines within one or two episodes. It moves and develops those stories throughout the 12 episodes. Like I said it kind of complicated with such a large casts but this anime managed to pull this one by introducing them and addresses them slowly and flawlessly without the needs to stress it out.
To captured the various aspects of a first love, this anime needs a large cast. Don't fret though because it is impossible to get confused. The overall plots will adapt you to each of the major characters' development. You'll love watching them grow and mature throughout the series. I was surprised to find myself rooting for Kei-chan and Kusuda-kun and thought Yamamoto-san and Arihara-kun made such a good-looking couple. The characters are extremely likable (even I liked characters that I usually hate). They are also easy to relate to because none of them seems too fictious or fantasy-like. I'm sure once upon a time we have all been through such similar situation.
They are all sorts of love. The typical unrequited love to brother/sister complex that borderline incest. Although I won't consider Hatsukoi Limited as ecchi, there are still some fan service moments for the guys. So you perverted out there can enjoy this one too! As for the girls, don't worry. You will have no problem enduring those moments because it didn't feel overly forced.
The OP and the ED are catchy but nothing special. As for the voice of each characters, they fit perfectly.
Since this anime was done by J.C. Staff, a well-known animation studio, it was to be expected that the quality of the animation was quite high and there was never a point where I spotted any inconsistencies with the character designs. They did an amazing job with the adaptation leaving me wanting more and completely satisfied. It also makes me all giggly and girly, which I definitely am not!
I'll end this review with it's famous catch phrase: "Are you in love right now?"
Ah, Spirited Away. The movie that changed the world. I finally got to see it and I can only say this: another overrated garbage.
The film tells us the story of a young girl and her parents who find an odd tunnel in the side of a hill while moving to their new home. Of course they had to look what is inside. Upon investigating the tunnel, they find a strange "theme park" on the other side devoid of inhabitants. Upon investigating the theme park, things are obviously very "wrong" and as it gets closer to sunset, things just get worse. Unfortunately, this is all the plot I am able to reveal without spoiling the "uniqueness" of this film.
This is some sick frigging movie. It has some disturbing and nasty images ranking among the weirdest films I have seen in my life. It's a bizarre cocktail of Wizard of Oz, The Never-Ending Story, Alice in Wonderland etc (just to name a few). This film is interesting from beginning to end even though the plot advances rather slowly. There is always some new thing to see or some truly bizarre thing to witness. The animation is above average but not as impressive as in other anime series. The color is so vibrant and lively and just seems to grab your attention for the whole duration of the movie. A thing I loved about this film is the fact that it is completely unpredictable. Watch a Disney/Pixar/any-other-shit film, and you'll probably be able to figure out the outcome yourself. Watching this movie, I had no idea what was going to happen next. Because it's fucked up. No logic whatsoever. Paper birds attacking a dragon, things flying around, shit getting destroyed. I guess you can give it a try, just so that you'll not be that one dude that didn't see "the best animation" ever.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Given all the hype surrounding Princess M., I really expected to like this film, especially after my movie marathon delivered some unbelievable, unwatchable shit. I tried to like it. Truly, I'm not lying. Unfortunately, the producers were having diarrhea when they did this film, therefore making it extremely difficult to like, especially since their primary conceit seems to have been: "let's just fucking confuse everyone as much as we can." The primary way they accomplished this was by having almost every character switch back and forth from protagonist to antagonist every other scene. The wolves are the good guys. No, wait, they're threatening to kill the hero. That's bad. Oh wait, they're trying to save the forest. Nope, they're just small-minded fuckheads and so on and so on. Worse than the mythic figures like wolves and pigs, were the humans: ah, the people of Iron Town are attacked by wolves! Oh wait, they're destroying the environment, I hate those guys! But wait a minute, they're not as bad as these imperial soldiers, so we sympathize again, only now they're shooting at the Princess of the forest, damn they're bad, but wait...WHAT THE FUCK? And so on and so on.
I truly praise their desire to present complex cast of characters and avoid the black-and-white mentality of so much fantasy, but this quickly devolved into simple inconsistency. Eventually I just gave up, opened a bottle of beer and decided to hate everybody in the film, after which it became kind of bitter fun to watch them spill one anothers blood across the screen. The artwork is gorgeous, and it really feels like they worked hard to make it look great. The soundtrack is kind of passable, but doesn't seem to impress.
The whole point of this movie is that the environment is cool and we shouldn't just burn plastic in our big-ass cars while polluting air by spraying cans out the window. While that's not a bad message for a movie to tell, especially in the last decade, Princess Mononoke does it really heavy and seems like it wants to make you feel bad for human progress.
So when we last saw Afro, he had finally avenged his father's death and claimed the Number One headband, making him the most powerful swordsman in the world. Well, the story in this Afro Samurai movie called Resurrection picks up some time later. Afro lives a peaceful, isolated life. His sword, and his fighting spirit have dulled. Nevertheless the legendary master is forced back into the game of killing by those who demand his blood in payment for the pain he dealt on his path to vengeance. You see, when you have the Number Two headband, you kill a lot of people. And I mean A FUCKING LOT. So now, Afro is forced back into the role of unstoppable killer, and his flawless technique will drop all who stand in his way as he fights his way back to Number One status. This movie is practically like a 2nd season. Let's not forget that the original Afro Samurai had 5 episodes of 24 minutes, so it's like watching a 2nd season. A more beautifully designed 2nd season, but unfortunately with a decent story. Some chick wants to resurrect Afro's father, in order to have him fight against Afro. It's stupid and kind of annoying. But at least we get to see those gore fight that made Afro Samurai the masterpiece it is. The sound is also gorgeous. You better pick up the volume while watching this movie, cause the beat is banging. Awesome hip-hop makes the movie even more entertaining. As I have already mentioned, the plot is kind of weak. Let me put in this way. It's Afro and all the characters he killed in the original series, adding some new to that bunch. And he fucking kills them all. Another major point of complaint is the ending. Some viewers will love it, but others will believe it's too predictable. It's not that perfect ending everyone was waiting for, but it's good enough. Good enough for me, that is.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
I've considered doing this for a while but i didn't quite have the time to do it. But now i think it's time to deepen myself into the horrors of bad shit-ass, diarrhea-puking, monkey-farting, donkey-dick anime, that if you watch it once... it will scar you for the rest of your life. So this is the list:
1)Art of Fighting
Art is right, you really have to try to make such a friggin' ass-wiped masterpiece.
2)Crystal Triangle The Forbidden Message
Forbidden is a right choice of words... THIS THING SHOULD BE ILEGAL
3)Tekken The Motion Picture
How could they have fucked up Tekken so bad?
4)Ragnarok The Animation
Ragnarok means ,,The end of the world" in Norse mythology... Which is what should happen to this abomination!!
5)UFO Ultramiden Valkyrie
It's not just the genre that makes want to find the ones who made this and send them to Sun in a space ship made out of shit
So these are the ,,masterpieces" i will focus on for the time being. Some are movies, but some are series, so you can guess i'm puting myself through a lot of trouble just for your entertainment so... ENJOY
Whoa, it has been a long time since I update this region. No, I didn't mean my region. Sheesh!
I just wanna share this with you peeps about Ghost Hound.
If you love Jigoku Shoujo, you gonna love this one too. Personally I think it was better, in term of its art however to be fair they do have rather different story lines.
It is about three different kids who have suffered from different traumatic events; Makoto, Tarou and Masayuki. Because of that, they are now have the ability to traverse the “unseen world”. You might want to forgive the slow-paced few minutes of the first episode. Once the plots start to unravel though, it would not stop till the climax. The anime tells the story of trauma,mental disorders, possession, out-of-body experiences, the afterlife, etc. The people deal with all these circumstances differently based on what they believed in which allows us to see a few different point of views, either scientifically or spiritually. There will be question marks hanging above your head on several occasions, especially with the terminology shit but don't fret. It will becomes perfectly clear once explained. Just make sure you pay close attention to the details.
The characters are nicely designed, well rounded and will fascinate you with their vivid personalities. Everyone will find a bit of himself in some of them. Personally, I am a fan of Makoto but found myself more like Masayuki.
Oh here comes the best part.
Prepare to be creeped out because you definitely will. The appearance of the ghosts are so random, they'll fucking give you goosebumps. I watched the anime with the lights on. Even when I'm done with the episodes, I'm too scared to turned off the light. It just gave me the feeling like the ghosts were just waiting to pounce. That's how fucking downright creepy they are. The great sound effects do not help one bit either. It will certainly turns you into a paranoid for a 'lil while especially if the tune got stuck in your head, like it did with me.
So yeah, like I said, this anime is made of awesomesauce. Nothing is overdone and everything flows perfectly.
This anime is for people who loves and are very appreciative of horror, mystery and psychological series because if you are not you might think of it as a waste of time. It's your lost, dumbass.
Also as a reminder, this anime is definitely not for the weak-hearted.