Kyou no Go no Ni OVA 2: Treasure Chest

The class of 5-2 is back to bring more of the subtle mature humor in this OAD! Say aye class! AYE!!!

As usual the girls and the boys are against each other, competing and arguing about every single things. The OAD has 4 segments. It start with them having to clean their school backyard (it was summer). Then the boys found a pillbug and were fascinated by it. Of course the girls were afraid of the bugs, except for Aihara (she's cool like that).

Yes Tsubasa, that grass is called 'molest'. LOL

After they are done with the cleaning, they got to use the pool.

Aihara went up against Natsumi even though she can't swim (like I said, she's fucking cool like that) ^o^

The boys who were grateful towards Aihara decided to help her out.

Believe in us who believe in you!

Needless to say, the attempt was a phailure. LOL

After that, they are back in class and it's already autumn. In one segment they are obsessed with Saoto's head/hair that looks like maple leaf. I love what transpired next. hehehe


For the winter segment, they are playing snow fight. Heh, the boys lost, as per usual. I swear Natusmi has a dick in her pants! XD

Of course I do, Saoto! *nods wisely*

This somehow lead to the girls having a breast measurement in the infirmary. They don't even wear brassier yet so WTH? Anyway, Saoto, as always, comes to the infirmary at the wrong time so yeah ^__^"

In the last segment of this OAD, to gain his friends attention, Saoto called them names and havoc ensued. We got to see the kind of interaction Saoto and Chika has though. Heh, it was sweet to say the least.

The songs (there are plenty, one for every segment) are sang by the Friends, just like in the previous series. I like the third song the most though.

The characters still used the same voice actors as in the series so I like the consistency of their personalities. No changes in the character design or how the story is written either which are another good point about this OAD. It just feels like I am continuing with the series instead of watching a separate episode of the anime.

Lastly, I've got to say that Aihara remains to be my favorite. I can't resist weird character. I swear it's a curse!


Art 8/10
Story 8/10
Sound 9/10
Character 9/10
Enjoyment 8/10
Overall 8/10

UFO Ultramaiden Valkyrie

OOOOOk… time to finish up with the Shit Marathon. I know I dragged it for a long time, but I had a bit of setbacks. At least I didn’t post anything else or watch anything else, so… you could still say I did a Marathon. Soon I will put these dreaded memories behind me, but now I think it’s time to dig in a big pile of shit. And I can say we certainly saved the worst for the last. What can I briefly say about it? Well let’s put it this way… if there would be a town called Retard-town, then UFO Ultramaiden would be the mayor, and FLCL and s-CRY-ed would be on the city council (more like the shitty council). 

From the start, I wasn’t expecting much, cause just by looking at the genre you can already guess that this is not my thing. But I could put up with this kind of stuff if it would make some sense. And… yes, it makes sense. If you would discard the freaks walking around, the stupid and cheesy explanations and the overall retarded and caveman-simple plot, then it would make sense why you are watching it. The setting is some kind of futuristic era, when humankind developed space-travel and interacts with a shit-load of many intergalactic fucker-nauts and astro-bastards. That would explain all the freaks walking around. But the plot (if you can call it that) revolves around Kazuto and Valkyrie. Val is the one you see on the image. Both of them. Confused? Well apparently when Val crashed into Kazuto’s bath-house, which he runs, Val killed him. So since she cares so much for total strangers (maybe some kind of fetish, I don’t know) she gives half her soul to Kazuto so he could live. Hmmm… ok, but does it heal injuries? If a giant ship crashed into my house and killed me, I would be more worried with the heavy injuries sustained, NOT ABOUT A HALF OF A SOUL WHICH DOESN’T DO JACK SHIT! But anyway, since she did that, now she has a connection with Kazuto. The only problem is that she turned into an 8 year old. So in order to change back to the way she was, she has to kiss Kazuto, and then she can also unleash her ridiculous amount of power. So now they both try to run the bath-house, and as the series progresses, more and more characters come along to join in. But the plot has NO consistency. It’s just a bunch of random stuff mashed together to form this anime. There is nothing linear, and there is nothing to keep you going really, cause frankly… nothing changes. Each episode is the same: no matter what happens during the episode, the ending is always the same. It’s like no matter what happens, nothing seems to influence any of the characters and any of the ,,story”. In conclusion, instead of a good plot they just have a bunch of shitty sub-plots. 

As I said before, this is the mayor of Retard-town. Everything makes no sense, and it’s so cheesy you’re wondering ,,Did those who made this ACTUALLY intended to release it?”. Seriously, I’m like ,,What were they thinking?”. How can one come up with this, it’s bad. Everything that happens, I presume it’s to be for comic relief, but the jokes are on you if you watch this piece of shit for comedy. Since they placed the setting in an intergalactic era and introduced a bunch of ridiculous aliens, then why not just put the shit-cherry on top. Everyone is over-reacting (if you could believe something like this in an anime), and doing ridiculously insane things. For example, a maid of Val thinks Kazuto is Val’s fiancé so she zaps every girl he interacts with. With what does she zap? A gun that transforms every human into a cat-like person. That is, the person who was zapped grows cat ears and a tail. Yeah, I’m stunned at the amount of originality. So this new breed must serve Val and Kazuto under the direct orders of the crazy maid. And crazy is really an understatement, she looks like she belongs in the Looney-bin (that is a place for people that think monsters live in their ass and that Mickey Mouse is actually real). So I can give hundreds of examples, but my point is the same. One recurring moment will be the moment they transform from child state into adult state. It takes for like 1 minute, and I understand showing it once, BUT WHY THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME. It’s not like something changes, it’s always THE SAME.

The cast is pretty standard, just one guy and a bunch of girls (some of which are aliens). Their personalities are simple and cliché. The guy is dense and can see that there are certain people who love him, there is a big-breasted girl which is Val’s sister and acts like an antagonist at first, but befriends everyone at the end, and the are enough girls to form love-triangles, but ,,unfortunately” one can’t express her feelings (obviously) and there is another who wants to express her feelings, but isn’t given the opportunity (or something like that). So these 2 act as rivals for Val, but all she cares about is being together with Kazuto and enjoy a care-free life full of love. How sweet. But even more ridiculous are the alien characters. If our galaxy really had such races living in it, then it’s one fucked-up galaxy. The male aliens look like they were drawn by a kinder-gardener. Some look like pink blobs, others are small white sackless balls, and… A GIANT BANANA WITH LEGS? Ok, but why do the female aliens look so sexy. You constantly get a nude view of them with their giant breasts, and the only difference between human females and alien females, is that the alien ones have only one animal feature like a dog tail, or cat ears or horns. What is this, the anime version of Doctor Munroe’s Island? 

The presentation is lame, but I didn’t expect much. They feel appropriate for 2002, so that’s kind of a compliment. Character models are simple for some and ridiculously colored and over-complex for others. Music is… shit. And the English dub, like for many (if not all) anime from this genre simply sucks. It’s like they didn’t even try, they just picked some amateurs of the street and said ,,Hey, want to do the voice work for a piece of crap” and the amateurs were like ,,Sure, yeah, have nothing better to do to waste my time”. 

In the end I was thinking for who it was intended. Little kids is out of the question, cause there is a fair amount of nudity. And a more mature audience is out of the question, cause it’s to retarded. It’s stupid, it’s so cute that it’s making me sick, and presentation sucks Pikachu’s anal fur. Overall, it’s a piece of shit, end of story.  

Sekirei

Saying that Sekirei sucked, would only spoil it. Seriously, it's that bad. I mean, let's see now:

Girls having superpowers AND enormous boobs CHECK
A loser that gets girls CHECK
Her powers can only be revealed after they kiss CHECK
Other big-boobs hunt them CHECK
It sucks CHECK
It has magic, and retarded combat sequences CHECK

Sekirei is a harem ecchi action comedy series that involves a city being turned into a battle arena where 108 chicks called "Sekirei" must fight in order to win the competition held by the MBI corporation. While they fight to survive from other Sekirei, they also must find their Ashikabi in order to make a contract with them. WHY??? Nobody gives a shit. The main character is Minato, some loser that can't get into college. Minato then meets a girl named Musubi. She tells him that she is one of 'Sekirei' and he is her 'Ashikabi". Minato soon learns that being the partner of a beautiful girl is not all fun and games, especially when he discovers that an Ashikabi can have more than one Sekirei partner - and that's where the real trouble starts. Please do not watch this piece of shit. Do anything else, but don't watch it. It is horrible. Not making sense is like a quality compared to this plot. The visuals are pretty decent, but apart from that it really contains nothing worth your time.

Graphics 8/10
Sound 7/10
Storyline 6/10
Characters 8/10
Overall 7/10

Maria + Holic

This is the fist review I did as a request that came from one of our visitors. He wanted to know what makes Maria + Holic such a popular anime series among other anime fans. Well, I can tell you this: if you're not into stupid cliche comedy and lesbians, then this is not for you. Let me make things clear a little bit. Look at the poster. The girl in the top left corner is the main hero of the series. She is a lesbian and she enrolls this school for girls only in order to find her true love. Her parents met in that school and she hopes that she could also find her love there. So, we have the lesbian, and a full school of beautiful gorgeous hot girls. What do we get? A piece of shit. So let's make it a little bit more interesting. You see the hot blond on the right? That is the first person that our main heroine falls in love with. The hot blond is a BOY!!!! Yeah, I know what you're thinking but it's true. It's a boy dressed as a girl, that goes to this school because his grandmother was the chairman and he wants to become something like that. I really didn't pay much attention to the reasons. So now that our heroine found out the boy's secret, he uses his connections in order to become her roommate and make her life a nightmare. The animation is decent, sometimes great, with those cliche comedy stupid moments when their heads grow and they have X's instead of eyes. It's full of that shit. They really make it hard for you to truly absorb the fact that the blond chick is a dude, because every episode they make her look even hotter. At one point I was thinking...Is this gay??? To like the blond chick?? And the answer kept popping in my head: YES IT IS, GO KILL YOURSELF!!! Another thing that shocked is that for a series based on comedy, it has no actual LOL-Moments...the most it could get out of me was a smile. Not even a stupid grin. Pathetic. I only watched 5 episodes before writing this review. That's like half of what I am supposed to watch. In the third episode, the narrator (yeah, we have a narrator...like it isn't fucking enough that the whole frigging show is almost 80% made out of sex fantasies the stupid lesbian has) tells us that she is in love. So I am going to take a wild fucking guess: by the end of the series the boy that is a fucking monster and the girl that can't touch boys because she gets a rash will be boyfriend and girlfriend.

ps: I will write an update under the amv tonight, after a watch the final episode to let you know if I was right



Graphics 9/10
Sound 8/10
Storyline 5/10
Characters 6/10
Overall 7/10

UPDATE: episode 6 explains everything..can you imagine that the boy actually has a twin sister that dresses like a boy and attends a boy-only school...they changed places only for the physical exam..and this is when they explain the main hero that the change is actually a wish that their grandmother had...like a game..the first one to lose is the one that is discovered..the winner gets the chairmanship of both schools
FINAL EPISODE UPDATE: The anime is a colossal piece of shit. No actual ending. Nothing happens that actually makes it worthy to keep watching. I fucking skipped episodes 10 and 11 just to see the final one, and nothing changed. I wasn't missing anything. This is by far one of the most horrible series I have ever seen. You have to be blind to endure such atrocity. It's almost as bad as this piece of diarrhea. Seriously, I'd rather have my balls massaged with an Australian cactus rather than re-watching this Maria + Holic.

ps: I really hope this review answers your question, blur

Air Gear

Ok, so the story in Air Gear is as follows. All over the world there are this popular air trek skates, that teenagers use in order to race and fight. The main hero of the series is Ikki, who is a middle-school boy, and is the toughest street-fighting punk on the east side of town, on top of that he lives with 4 gorgeous sisters that took him in when he was a kid. But what Ikki doesn't know is that the girls are part of one of the most infamous A-T gangs, 'Sleeping Forest'. The early parts of the story carry out the introduction of characters that eventually join Ikki. As the story progresses, it focuses on their roles as Storm Riders, the team that Ikki created with his friends, and their quest to be on the top of the Tropaion Tower, some kind of ranking system in the world of Air Trek. Being a fantastic combination of comedy, action and ecchi, Air Gear is incredibly fun to watch. I can't explain it to you why Air Gear is so cool. I was practically hooked after the intro, which is one of the best intro I have ever seen. Nothing sets the mood for some skating like the song they picked.



What Air Gear lacks is an ending. It's only flaw I discovered is an ending, which is kind of cool, as long as all the fans know the fact that the manga is still ongoing, letting us know that there might be a second season. What the creators of Air Gear do well is set the mood for an ending. With Ikki's team rising towards the top, and different "kings" making appearances during episodes, you would probably think that by the end of the series you will have Ikki fighting for the crown. But no, there is no "I am the best"-ending, which makes the series a little disappointing.
Overall this was a great anime, and by the end of it you'll be left wanting for more. The graphics are gorgeous and the music is incredible, but again, lacking an ending is what makes Air Gear not one of the best series out there.




Graphics 9/10
Sound 10/10
Storyline 8/10 (no ending)
Characters 9/10
Overall 9/10

Elfen Lied

Since I didn’t do the review of a shitty anime for some time ( Pokemon doesn’t count because there I talked about some weird fucked up parts, yet the anime is a cult classic ), this time I’ll talk about one which is one of the most disturbing anime I’ve seen in my life. This is one you probably haven’t heard of yet, but you haven’t missed much, cause this isn’t a masterpiece. Actually I’m wrong, this thing should have an award of it’s own. THE GORIEST ANIME EVER. Why ? We’ll get to that. First of all let’s talk about the plot. The plot on anime-planet is this…

,,For Kouta and Yuka, finding the bloody naked young girl on the beach would change their lives forever, for better or for worse. Unable to speak or function as a normal human being, she is named Nyuu by the duo, and taken into their home in an effort to save her. But what neither teenager knows is that this innocent young girl is actually a killing machine -- an experiment gone terribly wrong -- and it is only a matter of time before the murderer in her awakens again...”. (Source: anime-planet.com)

Now to correct some mistakes. First of all, this girl is not an experiment, but an evolution. And it is not a matter of time before the murderer in her awakens, because it awakens every episode ( although for brief moments ). The title ,,Elfen Lied” didn’t say much at first, only after a little research did I find out it’s meaning. In German, this is translated as ,,Elven song”. Why elven ? Well because the murderous bitch has cat-like ears growing on her head. Ok… but then why elven, elves don’t have such ears. Well I guess ,,Cat song” or ,, Hauskatze Lied” ( that’s cat in German ) sound’s fucked up, so just leave it elfen. And why is it a Lied ? Well because it has a lot of fucked up romance in it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that romance is fucked up, and I welcome it in any anime. I’m just saying that the romance IN THIS anime is fucked up.
The opening theme is some king of Latin song with piano music, and I read that a lied is usually arranged for a single singer and piano. So they got that right, but the video is fucked up. The paintings style is disturbing, it’s like something you show to a insanity ward patient. Also, even though the music is an actual lied, it’s boring, and it tells better than words how boring this thing is. Just listen to it. This opening wraps the whole thing up. Also the opening gives a good example of how much nudity is contained in this anime. At some point I forgot I’m watching an anime and thought this is a hentai, which would actually be more fun and interesting than this.
Also it has A LOT OF GORE. Never in my life have I seen so much blood on the screen and limbs flying which is good is small doses, but they just went way, way too far. Like showing a 6 year old girl cut in half, then her father has his head cut off , all the while the girls brother is watching this. I mean the movie Hostel is a four year old girl licking a lollipop compared to this. It is one of the most notorious anime in the U.S. for it’s graphic violence and nudity. And no amount of editing can tone it down, cause otherwise you have to cut out half of the anime, and that kind of defeats the purpose of making and selling it. I said that they have to cut out half, which contains the violence, if they want to edit it, but want to know what the other half is ? BOREDOM. Plain and simple boredom. When limbs stop flying and blood stop flowing, you see some of the most boring scenes ever, that have no purpose. For example there is a scene of a girl, which later plays a more important part in the episode, walking her dog on a street for like MINUTES. It’s like ,,Yeah you want some action, you want some action, yeah … Well FUCK YOU”. Why ? Why did they put that ? I just want to see her role in this episode, nothing more. Also there are a lot of scenes, which are present only in hentai. Scenes like incest and pedophilia. Scenes like two cousins making out doing French kisses, or a stepfather forcing his stepdaughter to strip in front of him. That’s sick. ,,Hey kids, here are some life lessons, so that you will grow up into good healthy child molesters and cousin-fuckers”.
Plus, even if there is all that bloody violence going on, it gets boring. I mean it’s fun to watch that same character butcher a lot of security guards at first, but that butchering stuff gets a little old, especially since it’s the same character that butchers the fuck out of everyone. It’s like she’s unbeatable, nobody can stop her, and since she is the main character, there is no fun watching her cause she doesn’t build any tension. It’s like you know she’s gonna have no problems with this so you might as well just skip the scene. There are some good battle scenes, but they are few. What this anime needed is less dog walking, more monster fighting. Because the only real fun I had is when killer-bitches like the main character fight each other, cause they all have the same powers.
Also the ending a bit sucks. It shows Kouta making out with Nyuu’s true identity, which killed Kouta’s little sister and father right before his eyes. AND HE KNOWS THAT. Which brings the question. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING ? The bitch killed your family. Don’t you have any feelings about that ? Or do you just want to fuck this girl so much ?
Well… I don’t want to waste my time figuring this shit out. Other aspect are done nicely. The sound and voice-work fell realistic, the character cast is nice and diverse, everyone acts and feels like how he should. But I have a little issue with the graphics. Don’t get me wrong, they are nice, but the character drawings feel a bit childish, like they were meant for a more peaceful anime. I mean they should have been a bit more serious to go along well with all the violence going on.
This anime was a bestseller in the U.S. And maybe rightfully so. Remember, I’m just talking about my issues with it. If you are a fan of gore and mindless massacre, then this one is for you. Otherwise, just look the otherway.

Goldenboy

Golden Boy is by far one of the funniest anime series you'll ever see. It leaves you wanting for more, as it ends after just 6 episodes, making Golden Boy one of the best OVAs out there in the world. Golden Boy follows the story of Kintaro, a 25 year old man who dropped out of university because he finished early. He just dropped. Imagine that. What did he do next? Well, he started taking every shitty job in the world, and working his way throughout the world. He is always seeking to gain new knowledge, thus always trying something new. He is also a pervert. Well, he isn't but they make him look like one. Actually he is. Or not. Well it's fucking confusing. One episode he is this pervert looking for boobs, the other episode he is an understanding dude, with a full heart of love, so you don't really fucking get it. And there are only 6 episodes, so there is no fucking character development. The producers just expect you to invent your own fucking stories. "Why did he drop, why did he travel, well fuck you, can't you just invent it yourself?" And the amount of ecchi in this show is colossal. At one point he’s almost having oral sex with a chick, or watching a girl having orgasm on a motorcycle. Way too much ecchi, but they did well on the jokes part. Every episode there’s a hot chick involved that thinks of him that he’s a total asshole. By the end of each episode, indeed, he's won over the hearts of all involved, and usually has helped someone in the process. Kintaro also learns valuable lessons at each workplace, and teaches the people there important life skills as well. Animation-wise, Golden Boy had fairly crude visuals, but they were very appropriate for the style and mood. The character designs were somewhat minimal at times, with a palette of colors that was bland and varied. The facial expressions are always changing and are shown on a regular basis to make you laugh. For example, if Kintaro messed up with something, he'd get this extremely grotesque and horrified expression. Sometimes he'd look like a sunken skeleton, and other times, he'd look like a revved up fighting machine. The sound in Golden Boy is full of happiness, comical and it fits perfectly with the characters. Golden Boy is very popular because of its great DUB. And it is true. I saw this series in Japanese with English subs, and it was funny, but the English dub version was hilarious. I was laughing my ass out; the dub was that fucking great. Every sound was there on its place, making it all look like a masterpiece. If that wasn't enough, the writing is superb and the english voice acting couldn't possibly be better. The one thing to mention though is this is without a doubt an Ecchi series. It practically defines the word. If you're an adult anime fan who can get a laugh out of movies like American Pie, you'll love this.

Graphics 6/10
Sound 9/10
Storyline 7/10
Characters 8/10
Overall 8/10