Thursday, July 16, 2009

Howl's Moving Castle

Although Howl's Moving Castle had some great animation and some interesting concepts, the plot was so senseless in so many places that I found myself shaking my head wondering why the hell was I watching this pathetic excuse for crap.

The story (if I'm not mistaken) is about a young hat maker named Sophie, who lives her pathetic life until a curse is put upon her by the evil Witch of the Waste. The curse comes in the form of age, turning little sweet Sophie instantly into a ancient old hag. In order to break the spell (why? you're old...enjoy), she must now find Howl and his moving castle. And to make the curse even funnier, it comes with a spell that she cannot tell anyone about it. So once our heroine meets up with Howl, she's unable to tell him what she needs and instead becomes the moving castle's housekeeper.

The animation in the film was better than average. It was excellently colored and moved in an almost Da Vincish fashion across the screen. But the plot!Oh, the plot! Good lord what the fuck was that ?! There's never an explanation given as to the war that is constantly circling this strange land. Why and how it got started are never fully explained, even though much screen time is given to the machines of war. Why and how the young boy who lives in Howl's castle came to be there are never explained either. Nor is any explanation given to the powers of Calcifer, the fire that drives the castle . And to think that there were some great voices amongst the cast...from Christian Bale, Billy Crystal and Lauren Bacall just to name a few.
I don't mind films that leave a certain amount of exposition up to the viewers interpretation, but there needs to be some rhythm and/or an actual reason for the basic story of a movie. No answers here. This movie will leave you howling for some answers.

Graphics 8/10
Sound 8/10
Storyline 7.5/10
Characters 8.5/10
Overall 8/10


psgels said...

I'm having a bit of trouble to grasp your rating system. So you mean to say that giving something an 8/10 means that it totally sucks and shouldn't be watched? Do you have some page on your site that explains these ratings?

Animenerdz said...

it doesn't suck, it's just not as good as others think it is...

1-5 burn the f*cking dvd
6 why God??? why????
6.5 horrible
7 bad
7.5 just for fans
8 decent
8.5 good
9 excellent
9.5 amazing
10 perfect

kluxorious said...

that rating is according to your standard.

Mine is 9 simply because this is the only Hayao Miyazaki movie that has a total bishie in it.

I mean Howl is.... @_@ *squirts*

Andrei said...

Not the best from the master, I may say.

kadian1364 said...

Why does "burn the f*cking dvd" take 5 whole numbers and other ratings only occupy half a decimal?

I can work out to be something like this:
1 burn the f*cking dvd
2 why God, why?
3 horrible
4 bad
5 just for fans
6 decent
7 good
8 excellent
9 amazing
10 perfect
Now that looks nearly exactly like my MAL rating system.

psgels said...

Meh, the MAL rating system is overrated. Everyone has different standards for these, although it gets a bit confusing when you don't know which. ^^;

Sapphire Pyro said...

looks like I'm not the only one who got confused on your rating system ^^;

I suggest you to add the meaning of the rates I guess. Like:
9/10 (excellent)

that way new visitors may get your rating system ^^;

Anyway, now on-topic. I think Hayao Miyazaki films are not your thing xD Avoid the new ones or the others next time to save yourself from headaches. Haha!

But about this movie . . . I love it =3 not more than mononoke, but more than spirited away xD

Ten98 said...

You're an idiot. You clearly didn't understnad the film as it didn't have large breasts, guns or explosions in it.

Do yourself a favour and stick to Dragonball Z in future.

Oh and yea, I agree with everyone else your rating system is retarded, why slam the plot and say it's worthless, you hate it and it doesn't go anywhere then give it a 7.5??

If 10 is perfect then it's 75% of the way to being a perfect plot, only 2.5 marks away from perfect???

In your case I guess a movie that scored 10 for "storyline" would be a giant gun in the shape of a dick shoots a woman with oversize boobs in the boobs over and over and her boobs explode into smaller boobs...

Turns out you don't understand marks of of ten either.. Big surprise.

Anonymous said...

You're an idiot. Pretty much everything you complained about was perfectly explained in the movie. For example, you rage about how nobody explained the big bad war. Are you retarded? It is explained through direct use of dialogue that the neighboring country's prince has gone missing (he really turned into turnip-head) and that they are blaming Sophie's home country. They state that the country is considering WAR, which happens shortly thereafter.

By the way, the movie is an adaptation of a book, a very long book. He didn't have time to fill unimportant holes, like where the boy came from. He's an apprentice, big whoop, he could be an orphan he picked up off the side of the street. Regardless, it's not important.

I never even read the book and I understand the movie perfectly, as do all my friends. If you don't get it, look up an analysis, the movie is much more subtle and complex than you may think. Either way, the plot has it's simple features that can be understood on a basic level, unless... well, you're retarded.

Anonymous said...

i agree. the movie's plot does not makes sense, the characters does not make sense. Given the high ratings, i expected more. Spirited Away, on the other hand, is really very good.