Saturday, June 27, 2009

Violence Jack Evil Town

So like I promised, this is my first review of an anime from my,, Shitty anime” list. If watching drama is a test to prove Animenerdz’s nerdness, then this is my test. So… Violence Jack Evil Town. Wow… sounds original. Actually I can do a 2 word review – Shit Town. But that is no fun, you want to hear ( or read ) more of my thoughts on this, and since I love you all so much I will try and give it my best.
If you want to know what VJET ( the initials of the title, which of course sounds like shit when pronounced ) is then I will describe it like this… it’s a cross-breed between Hostel, Texas Chainsaw Massacre and hentai. This movie was made for those that throw all shred of logic and decency aside. But it’s not just the excessive use of gore violence and sex that puts it in my ,,Retarded anime list”, but also everything that happens, which is supposed to have logic, cause and effect and all that stuff I’m expecting from an anime, but doesn’t. I don’t know why, but beyond the veil of blood and sex I expected logic. My wish puzzled me. I knew from the start that this was shit, why did I even bother expecting something. Guess it’s my naïve nature. In order for me to express my frustration and show you the retarded moments that would BEG logic in any other normal anime, I will do a retelling of the movie, like a summary. While some of you might say ,,Oh you shouldn’t bother with these so much” I’ll say ,,If this were any good I just might overlook some moments, but this is not the case”. And know, just because I’m not sane enough to keep away from this, I’m still sane enough to pursue logic in all. And no amount of re-watching this movie will change my opinion. Plus it’s so bad that the picture you see above is the only one that was opening. Now that is… BAD.
So let’s get started. It starts off with an earthquake destroying Tokyo, and then it shows survivors under after 6 months. Those, that lived underground, have named the new city Evil Town and it was divided in 3 zones, or groups. A zone which is all male and children represent the weak, B zone which is all thugs represent the strong, and C zone which is all female represent the women that were with A zone, but after some shit the males did, they run off and no one has had contact with them. B zone remind me a little of Mad Max, but I’ll talk about that in my next movie review. So the A zone tries to dig themselves to the surface and… WHY THE FUCK IF THEY TRY TO REACH UP, THEY ARE DIGGING DOWN? Is this Journey to the center of the Earth?
So as they dig they find an unearth Jack which was buried there for 6 months (please remember this fact). Jack is a 6 foot tall giant that looks like he crushes diamonds between his fingers. So as they dig him up B zone thugs come and Jack kicks the motorcycle of one of those thugs together with the thug, and they run off. Ok… then he goes to the A zone leader and he agrees to help them against the B zone. Ok… now we see the B zone. The leader is also a giant which has a second in command which I also think it’s his lover and… she… he… IT is a BIG fuck up. This character is the HOTTEST character in this movie, but… every time I see IT my brain is like ,,Dude… find a gun, load it, and put it in your mouth cause if you got the hots for a transsexual then all meaning and reason in this life, all which is Holy and Sacred, is gone for you”. But then like most of the characters here, she got naked and my brain said ,,Oh, dude it’s all good, she’s fine, we are safe”. Despite what you might read on wiki or other sources, which state she IS a transsexual, they were all probably thrown off, like I was, by her voice. Yes, she has the voice of a man (and it is the most annoying voice ever). What’s the deal? I thought that no woman wanted to do voice cast for this piece of shit, but no, there are women voice in the cast, for the ,,all exclusive” C zone. So what? Did they run out of women in all of Japan for this one character? Or was it this one guy who said ,,I’ll kill you all and then myself if you don’t give me this role” ? I don’t know, but that is a big minus. So anyway, back to the plot. This… thing, proposes that they have a market for A zone and C zone. Ok… what’s the point? Did they suddenly grow a heart? And everybody there is like ,,Yeah let’s do it. That is the most awesome thing I heard”. They react like dumb shits, which they actually are. So they do a market and guess who shows up? Jack. THAT WAS ONE WILD FUCKING GUESS! To propose a market and for that guy to show up. And they don’t even fight, it’s like they see each other and go ,,Oh, a fine day to you sir” ,,Yes thank you kind sir”. So if they lured him out, why didn’t they do anything? But now true stupidity arises. The secluded C zone comes out. A group of women come and immediately, one of them comes up and says ,,I want to buy you Jack”. Ok… how did she know about someone dug up only recently, in A zone, especially since they were in seclusion? Also… HOW THE FUCK DID SHE KNEW HIS NAME? He only said it to 3 or 4 members of A zone, so how come she knows his name? Not even B zone knew that, and the A zone didn’t mention it. I have to be really drunk to accept this as it is. So they say ,, Come with us, we will pay anything, we will even offer ourselves to you”. And this guy takes a long time to process that info. Guess it’s too much for one brain cell to handle. So after 63 second (yeah I counted) he says ,,Yeah sure” and he leaves those assholes from A zone. Now we get to see the C zone. And those that made this shit really put the women in a comfortable environment with clean water and shit. It’s like the earthquake never even happened here. But all these women are really naive. I mean this guy looks like he eats rhinoceros for breakfast, yet he walks in so casual and everybody accepts him so easily, like he is something not out of the ordinary. Ladies, I love you, I respect you, and I think you’re superior to me in many aspects, but… here you aren’t shown in a good light. Also I have to say that Venus must have lined up with a lot of cosmic shit, because all these women are… Fashion Models. If Heaven on Earth (or under it) exists, then this is it for this guy. Yet he doesn’t give a shit. On a scale of 1 to 10 my respect reached negative 2 for him. So all of a sudden he walks around and stops next to a RANDOM wall and… punches through a SOLID CONCRETE WALL. Question arises… WHAT HAS HE BEEN DOING FOR SIX MONTHS UNDER A SMALL PILE OF RUBBLE? And then he says… I can’t believe it got so stupid… he says ,, This hole leads to the exit, now go”. Are you shitting me? You motherfucker were buried for 6 months, now you walk up to a RANDOM wall, punch a hole through it and claim that this is the exit? Guess they were really running out of ideas here and just wanted to get this over with. And all the women are like ,,Yeah undoubtedly, this is it, thank you”. How trustful can a person get? If I were them I’d say ,,Are you for real you overgrown shaved ape? Why should I trust you? You look like Frankenstein, you’re eyes are glowing a lot and when you open your mouth you freak me out” So anyway, they start going, but instead of guarding the exit this guy goes to kick the shit out of the B zone group boss. What was he thinking? That the rest of the group will sit and watch? Actually the leader of the C zone told him to go, but she isn’t his boss. If he would have a good working brain (or at least if he had it) he would do the most rational thing and guard the exit. So of course the B zone catches up, after they horrifically murder all of the A zone (including the children, the sick bastards), and they proceed to rape the C zone. After Jack kicks the shit out of the boss, he doesn’t kill him, but goes after the rest. And then he rips, tears and cuts the entire B zone to pieces with his knife. Oh, back up. He has a knife? Why the fuck didn’t he use it before? Was it on a lock up timer? And also if this guy is so powerful, what was he waiting for? Some kind of invitation? I mean why didn’t he go from the start to B group, or at least at the market he could have went to the boss, and say ,,Yeah I know from the script I’m supposed to wait for you to kill and rape a lot, but since I have a conscience and more than one brain cell working, I’ll proceed to kill you now with my FUCKING KNIFE !” But that would be asking for too much and besides, the movie would’ve been too fucking short to be considered an OVA, let alone a movie. So eventually C zone goes to the surface and… OK, two possible scenarios: either the earthquake destroyed all of the Earth, or nobody gives 2 fucks about Japan and Tokyo. Where are other survivors? Where are rescue teams and aid centers? Where is all that stuff? Well who cares, the movie is over, and thank God.
So there are other disgusting and retarded moments, but you get the picture. I doubt that any of you will be interested to see it, but the fact that I found seeders for this piece of crap, and more importantly lechers, proves that this shit, which was made in 1988 by the way, still attracts curios minds to it. DON’T GET SUCKERED IN. Seriously. I know you might be thinking ,,This is your opinion”, but the fact that this is from the top 100 worst anime list means that there are others that share my opinion, just didn’t express it yet. Well I expressed it for all of us, and I say… FUCK IT. The rape scenes are disturbing enough, but in terms of gore Leather Face from Texas Chainsaw is a 4 year old chap in a sailor uniform compared to Jack. Jack will rip Leather Face’s asshole inside out. VJET you suck diarrhea through a straw.

So I hope you enjoyed my review and expect future ones like this.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I know this was done years ago.and by the looks no one else ever read it but what's your issue with transgender women?? The real pathetic thing is when you're getting turned on by fictional cartoon characters and also worrying about that they might have a fictional penis. And to clear this up for you whatever version you saw (I saw no.vagina in he onez I saw) she was always transsexual character. In the original manga she had a large penis. She took off her clothes to.rape the woman with it and this is.also.why she was voiced by a male actor. Please excuse my phones shitty keys.