Wait, what? Why would you? Oh my God! What is that? Who are you? Huh? What's up with the light? For fuck's sake! Stop!!!
These are word by word my reactions during the Boogiepop Phantom marathon I put myself through. It was horrible and just unbelievably boring. I also hated that fucking yellowish light the whole anime was created in. The story is about...well..I don't know really. It's so idiotic. One moment you see a guy eating spiders off peoples souls, the other second you see some girl. But then you see someone else. And everything is actually in the past and now is the present and WTF? It's just bad. Stay away from this horrible piece of shit. The soundtrack is almost not even there, the plot is clearly waaaay too complicated and retarded and the characters are just a mess. A giant mess of shit. It's just an abomination, a tumor that grows in your brain and eats the living shit out of you.
Art 5/10 Sound 7/10 Storyline 6/10 Characters 7/10 Overall 6/10
I have a habit of downloading all the anime of the season. Then I'll check them out. I'll watch the good one that I thought have potential immediately. I put the average one on hold while the shit one... well, directly to the bin.
Needless definitely one of the most shittiest anime I've ever encountered. The WTF-ness of this series is well... FUCKED.
(Please take note that this review is based on the first episode only. I just can't continue watching the rest of this shit.)
The story is about a kid named Cruz or Yamada or who-the-fuck-cares, a crazy ass chick who supposedly to be the relief comedy of the series yet phailed miserably, and a priest who oh-tried-so-hard-to-be-effing-cool because he so wants to be the incarnation on Kamina-sama but OH-FUCKING-WHY did he thinks he's capable of such feat?! These three travel around saving the Needless. Needless is the survivors of the Blackspots who obtained powers or some shit like that. Whatever right? Right.
It was all irrelevant because you don't know what the fuck you are watching anyway. You just stare at the screen and get yourself brainwashed. Not good. Definitely not good. It was 12 minutes of torture trying to get through the bad humor before you get mentally scarred with the appearance of a bad guy who surprise-surprise! exactly like Viral. Yes, another reference to Tengen Toppen Gurran Lagann (TTGL). PHAILED incarnation.
As for the art. It hurts my eyes. They want to do something similar to TTGL but the immitation is far too inferior. I hate it.
The characters are so unoriginal like I have mentioned before. So lets not even go there.
OMG... here comes the best part. Or the worst. The ED vid. I mean WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK? It has nothing to do with the story at all. Yuri? Really? WHY? HOW? JUST WHAT THE FUCK?!! fanservice or fuckservice? You tell me.
Conclusion: Stay the fuck away from this shit unless you are willing to get your mind raped (not the good kind of rape either).
WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED??? I just finished watching Perfect Blue and I feel raped. I am not kidding. This was not a mind-f*ck, this was a mind-rape. My brain is feeling like a dirty whore that just took it in every hole. Let's just agree that Perfect Blue was made in 1997, in an era where the total mind-f*ck was limited to painfully obvious plot twists and very lame narratives that think they're the shit, like Pokémon and Sailor Moon. The movie is a creation of the dude that a couple of years later created Paprika and Paranoia Agent. So there is really no place left for comparison. Perfect Blue blends elements of the psychological thriller, the horror movies, the adult film with some rape scenes and other dramatic themes so that in the end, it seems to play out as a head-on collision of each genre. The main character of the film is some kind of pop idol Mima Kirigoe, who chooses to end her career as a singer and opts for a career change, thus becoming an actress. This sudden change upsets her fans, and pretty soon those around her start receiving threatening letters and such, and some are even later horribly murdered. And if that is not enough to make things interesting, Mimi seems to be losing her grip on reality, a slip into insanity brought on by her new found actress role on a brutally violent television series. So let me explain that a little bit clearly, so that you could understand, literally understand, how fucked up it is. She is playing the role of a woman that has mental problems confusing the reality with the dream and that is killing people in her life. At the same time, Mimi has the same problem, and starts confusing reality with her dreams and the role she is playing. So she is a crazy woman killing people playing the role of a crazy woman killing people. And the movie doesn't fuck around with letting you know when it's reality and when it's a scene from the movie. Figure it out yourself. Another thing that the movie just drops in the scenario is a copy of Mimi, like a ghost of the past, following her around. So she seems to have two different stalkers, one real and one phantasmal. The first is the typical obsessed fan. The second is her alter-ego who claims to be the true Mimi and it's all really only the beginning of forces that are ultimately out to claim her sanity. The ending, although providing a twist is actually more welcomed for providing the fucking end of everything. I was more happy that it finally ended than that the ***** was the true killer. (Yeah, I am not telling you). Perfect Blue does contain some of the obligatory fashion elements of most anime, not limited to extreme violence and graphic sexuality. The film's narrative works because of its "movie within a movie" theme, a setup that's been done to death in most live-action cinema. Overall it was a good movie, nothing spectacular, but actually worthy to be watched at least once by every anime fan out there. So if you do have a "Watch before I tragically die"-List please do add Perfect Blue to that list. Right between Pokémon and Sailor Moon, 'cause I know you want to see them. I can feel it. Graphics 9/10 Sound 7/10 Storyline 7/10 Characters 7/10 Overall 7.5/10
Look, I know some of you might have seen Paprika and consider it a masterpiece, and I should truly apologize for the next review, because in my humble opinion it was the biggest smelliest vomit ever. Don't get me wrong, the visuals are astonishing. At some point during the movie I was afraid to even blink, so that I wouldn't miss a scene. Madhouse did an excellent job bringing those characters to life in the unpredictable world of Paprika. The synopsis is as follows: The DC Mini is a revolutionary invention that allows users to access their dreams and perform psychotherapy. Although still in the development stages, the creators have been secretly using it to treat patients, via a mysterious and spunky lady called Paprika. Now, the DC Mini is stolen from the laboratory and believed to be an insider job. It is up to Paprika to find the culprit and prevent him from using the DC Mini that will allow dreams and reality to merge and cause chaos.
The plot sounds simple, but is actually an illusion under which we are kept the whole time. At some point you will discover that what you thought was reality was actually a dream, with parades of freaky dolls and talking refrigerators, flying shit all over the place and stunning effects that present the portals between people's dreams.It is really messed up, and could have never been considered a masterpiece if it wasn't for the breathtaking visuals. The movie is so dumb that the villain who stole the DC Mini is actually the bald dude who owns the whole company that made it. I mean c'mon. There simply must have been an easier way for him to get his hands on this device, like walk (or roll, he's a fucking cripple and looks exactly like Professor X) into the lab and say: "Hello, I own this company and sign your checks. That machine is, technically, my property. I'd like it, please so that I could rule over the world. Now bring me an orange juice bitch and get out of my face." But then we'd never get a parade of dream things and then a final battle between a 500 foot tall naked man and a 500 foot tall naked woman over the city of Tokyo Although the idea is original, it actually has its flaws, like how the fuck do you enter other peoples dreams, and if you're there, how come you're suddenly in control? At some point, by the end of the movie you don't even care in whose dream they are in as long as the keep transforming into giant creatures and kill each other. The sound is dull, with the movie missing anything except a great opening and a good ending. It has that fucking circus theme all over the damn city, which is kind of disturbing if you don't like it, or if you hate those fucking parades that keep popping up all over the peoples dreams. It won’t be wise trying to make a sense of every detail in the plot line because this anime was one giant dream and dreams weren’t supposed to make any sense. It is pretty confusing in many places and I'm not afraid to admit being completely nonplussed at points, but it draws you in to its world through a combination of likable characters. Overall this movie is a bullshit. You know what I think the goddamn problem is? To many people out there are to afraid to say it "This piece of shit makes no fucking sense. Why would you even release it?" because they would be misjudged and accused of not understanding the true masterpiece of Satoshi Kon (some bitch-ass creator from Madhouse considered a genius...he did shit like Paranoia Agent, and other bullshit...just google him). Well I tried. I sure fucking did. But there was no room for logic in this garbage.
Ohh boy… we’re in deep shit now. I can’t imagine I subjected myself to this for 2 hours, 2 fucking hours of my life that I will never get back. At least it stopped were it did, cause if it dragged itself any longer than I think I would’ve had a seizure. Now just for you to know I watched this one to the end ( yeah all 6 fucking episodes ) but only for a reason… one fucking reason… my partner, Animenerdz said he watched 3 episodes. And I thought if he could watch 3 episodes and not turn to drugs and alcohol, while I would back off, then I don’t deserve to work with him. So I endured the 6 episodes. For those of you that don’t know ( and I’m guessing there are a lot ) our first review was s-CRY-ed, and it is a retarded piece of shit ( you should check the review ). And after s-CRY-ed, when I say about an anime having retarded moments, I say ,,It’s not as bad…” or in worst case ,,It’s almost…”, but here I can firmly say… IT IS AS BAD IF NOT EVEN WORSE !!! Yes, WORSE than s-CRY-ed. If you read that review, then now you must imagine how frustrated I really am. And since I like to discuss even the slightest complaint, here it will be hard to make a review because… there are so many complaints. So let’s start with one by one. First of all there is the title. It sucks even worse than s-CRY-ed. Not only it doesn’t say anything about the series or make any sense, the most fucked up part is that the CHARACTERS THEMSELVES don’t know what it means and they try to figure it out. Literally, they ask the main character ,,What does FLCL mean, cause you know, you’re the main hero”. How desperate can it get. And if I’m talking about main character and such let me tell you a bit about the plot. The thing is that Naota's life is confined to going to school and living with his father and grandfather. The usually boring life in Mabase is rudely interrupted by the arrival of Haruko Haruhara, who bursts on the scene by running Naota over with her Vespa scooter and hitting him on the head with a blue vintage Rickenbacker 4001 left-handed electric bass guitar. Later, Naota is shocked to find Haruko working in his house as a live-in maid. So you can clearly see it will get really retarded, really fast. But wait there is more. Turns out Haruko is searching for an alien called Atomsk which puts her at odds with Medical Meccanica, a monolithic industrial corporation. At the same time, Naota is being watched by Commander Amarao. The Commander believes Haruko is in love with Atomsk and that Medical Meccanica is out to conquer the galaxy. The combination of circumstances get Naota involved in a three-way battle between Haruko, Amarao and Medical Meccanica. Now that you have the plot, where do I begin the dissection of this abomination. Let’s start with the names. Like ( yeah you guessed it ) s-CRY-ed, the names are like a joke. Not all, but… come on… ATOMSK. Does that qualify as a name? LARDUS from s-CRY-ed was the name of a group, but here Atomsk is the name of a character which is a giant red bird. Wow… do we also have Quantumsk, or Moleculemsk ? Now coming back to retarded moments, here these moments are all over the place like roaches. Just the first 5 minutes will give you an idea of how retarded it actually is. A girl talks about conquest, swings a baseball bat, talks some random shit with Naota, then they walk on a bridge and he gets hit on the head by Haruko then everybody freaks out then I commit myself to drinking. So much random, useless stuff is happening in such a short time span. And it never makes much sense. And if you’re expecting some explanation well… fuck it, you aren’t getting any for the first 3 episodes. All chaos, robots and shit coming out of you’re head and everybody acts like it’s so natural, it’s something not out of the ordinary. Then from episode 4 a plot appears, you know like ,,By the way…”. So it’s like ,,Yeah you have something growing out of you’re head, there is a robot with a TV head living in you’re house, it’s all good… By the way I’m from there and I want to say that Medical Meccanica wants to destroy you planet. Just thought you might want to know”. I mean the true plot comes so sudden and they explain so quick that you don’t get the proper time to react. Also it doesn’t build any tension. It’s not like ,,Ohhh, I was waiting to figure that out”, it’s more like ,,Why the fuck are you telling me this, NOW ?” Medical Meccanica is another story. They’re building looks like a giant iron. Well I thought it was weird a bit at first but… wait… oh my God, it is ! It is a giant iron. It’s purpose ? To flatten the Earth. You have to sniff a lot of cocaine to think this up. I thought it looked like an iron but I thought ,, Nah… they can’t fuck up this bad “ but then I watched episode 6 and I was like ,, Nope, they actually CAN “. And it’s not to say that I was shocked or disappointed cause by the time I watched episode 6 I already watched 5 of them, so nothing could really surprise me now, but still I was frustrated that I thought of the SAME SHIT they did. That put me and my pride on a low pedestal. At least I can say it has some action but… fuck it, it’s not worth it. The character rooster isn’t big and it’s uninspired. You don’t associate yourself with any of them and you don’t give two shits what happens to whom. So there isn’t any point of me talking about character development here. The presentation… well they didn’t bother much with plot so why bother with presentation. Actually what I can say is that the presentation reflects the key feature of this anime… it’s retarded. Yeah, is it a surprise? In s-CRY-ed the graphics were outdated, but at least they made sense, but here… total FUCK UP. The background looks like it wasn’t finished, like halfway they were like ,,Screw this” and left it as it is, or facial expressions which don’t correspond to the right mood, or… South Park and Manga style drawings? It got so stupid that the characters themselves got self-aware and said ,, Guys let's stop cause it’s getting retarded”, but wonder of wonders… it only got worse by the SECOND. And the sound department sucks too, cause there is little music, and voice acting… never before in a review have I complained about voice acting and I thought I never would. But here it is God awful. It’s like the voice actors weren’t paid enough ( or at all ) and they decided ,,Screw this”. And that’s what the entire anime is – a major ,,Screw this”. In conclusion a question comes in mind… who were they targeting with this? For whom it was intended? Young people that don’t make much sense of life? Or perhaps mental institution patients? I don’t know, and frankly I’m not bothering trying to research this more thoroughly. So stay away from this garbage. It’s so much of a piece of shit that you would rather wipe your ass with a hedgehog than with this piece of crap.
I just finished watching Tekkonkinkreet and I can only say one thing: WOW!!! The visuals are amazing. I can't put it in any words better than that. If you're an anime fan that enjoys a lot of variety you need to see this film, no questions asked. It's the story of 2 brothers: Black and White, two kids who grew up together, helping each other protecting "their" city. The Yakuza also wants to take over the city and a new enemy appears by the end of the movie. Graphically and wonderfully made, it lacks of some nice guide just for you to follow the story. So it's kind of mixed up and has things you can't understand at all, even when you have had the opportunity of seeing other anime movies or anime in general. At some point I was just lost. Seriously lost in the plot, in the incredible graphics and sound. The relationship between Black and White was awesome, and it is the main part of the story, but I fell asleep because I found it so boring. I even watched the rest of it despite already not liking it. So you really get mixed feelings about this movie, but I truly recommend it to every anime fan out there. Another confusing thing about the movie is the amount of characters that interact within the plot. It's like the manga was begging for an episodic release rather than a movie. I really think it would have looked better as a 12-episode series than a 2 hour movie. So, seriously, go watch it, and stop bitching around.
ps: here's the trailer...a sample of some awesomeness the movie contains
why 2 amv's? because they're both cool...couldn't decide xD
I am going to spoil myself a bit with this review. Hyperion let me do the Code Geass review, so that's what I am about to do. What is Code Geass? Well, it may be the best fucking anime ever made. Why am I saying this? Well, because Code Geass offers everything you ever want in an anime: amazing plot, amazing characters, great graphics and sounds, fabulous spins that keep you guessing the whole episode what will happen and an unbelievable ending. The plot in Geass takes place in Japan, an area called Area 11 after being conquered by the Holy Empire of Britain and their robot army. The main character is a charismatic teenager called Lelouch. He is actually the son of the emperor but he hides his true identity and hates the royal family. Him mother was killed when he was a boy in an assassination, and his sister lost her ability to see and walk in the same attack. He receives the power of Geass, which allows him to command other people by giving them orders only if he is eye contacting them during it, from a girl named C.C., and starts his revenge on the empire, by taking the identity of a masked savior called Zero. The anime follows Zero as he builds the resistance movement inside Japan against the Empire. I summarized the plot for you, and it may sound boring but it’s not. Watching Zero commanding his troops is incredible, and the battles are also very creative. The team behind the project was brainstorming ideas like a fucking marathon, because the twists and turns in the plot never fucking end. At one point you’re like, how the fuck did he do that, and when they explain it to you, you stay there, in front of your monitor, amazed at his Highness, Zero. There’s not much to say about the characters either, except that they develop incredibly well during the plot. With Lelouch living a double life, one was being the student of an expensive academy for British rich kids, and two was being Zero. And you’d think things would mess the fuck up, but they stay pretty clear. They even get more characters involved, with one of his friends becoming a British soldier, and another classmate becoming Zero’s assistant without knowing his true identity. As I already said, Code Geass may be one of the best anime series ever made, and it has the quality to actually defend its title for a couple of more years. There’s really nothing to criticize, well, maybe the fact that the girl that gives him the power doesn’t actually instruct him how to use it, and also, the other thing that sucked was that he could only use it once on a person. Well, that’s bullshit. I mean, it gives you more control on the plot, but it sucks. If I get this kind of powers, and she would tell me you can only use it once on every person, I would fucking stab her in the head with a fork. Oh, one more thing about Code Geass that sucked. The way they made Lelouch look like a fucking anorexic. Look at him in the trailer, I mean, they had some real fun making him the skinniest human being alive.
This time I decided to torture myself some more with shitty anime. Today’s masterpiece is Paranoia Agent. Unlike s-CRY-ed ( which, I think, I will never stop making references to it ), I watched this one to the end. I realize that I should have dropped this anal waste after the 7th episode, but I wanted to give it a chance. Why ? Well I will tell you all about it. If you read the information given on anime-planet you might think it is original. DON’T GET SUCKERED IN. For starters, let’s talk about the plot. At first it seems like a mystery, a little kid with a baseball cap, roller skates, and a golden, bent bat hits people in the head, and runs away. It’s a chaotic pattern, but to policemen try to find a connection. As the series progress, this fucker actually kills people, so yeah, it has a lot of violence. But lets talk about the other tags. It is a thriller until the 7th episode, then it becomes a mindf*ck, but only because it doesn’t make any sense. Now what’s the most important part of a mystery, thriller, psychological anime ? TO MAKE SOME SENSE AT SOME POINT IN THE SERIES, OR AT LEAST AT THE ENDING. But first thing is first. The opening. While the theme is really nice, the video already shows how much illogic the series will contain. I mean what other opening have you seen a guy laughing in the air, among the clouds, with his head upside down ? They just show a cast of the characters with some fucked up background, like the top of mount Fuji or Nagasaki when the atomic bomb blows. It throws away all logic. The cast is diverse, but you don’t see many of them often, and most don’t have any connection between them. Each represents a social issue, so I guess that’s one of the few reasons why I gave it a two star rating ( see my anime-planet list ). So yeah, it talks about social problems, but those are more like sub plots, and we don’t want them. We want to know all about the main mystery, the little slugger. Well the anime says ,,Fuck you! Just watch all the shit you have met or will meet in your lives.” And if I already talk about the characters, let’s talk about the graphics. While the background is done right, with details, sharpness, full color and all, the character animation SUCKS. It’s a certain style, which may be good for some, or at least unimportant, for me it’s just DISGUSTING. The more slender or average shaped people are Ok, but the fat characters, or old are just fucked up. It’s hard to explain it, but trust me, when I say it’s REALLY fucked up, then you know it’s crap. Also there some close up views that you just want to skip. Sound effects and voice work are good. They’re not top grade, but they sound realistic, and that’s enough for me. So I guess that’s also a plus for the two star rating. But now let’s go in depth on why I hate it so much. First of all, for the first 5 or 6 episodes, you might think that there is a logic that you will discover later on. But that is just like thinking that your shit is made of gold. In episode 7, everything just goes ape shit. The idea is that they captured little slugger, and put him in jail. But when the two policemen go there, they find him dead. The fucked up part... HE WAS KILLED BY HIMSELF!!!! Not suicide! Literally, a second him was standing on his feet next to his dead body. Is he a clone ? Is this Star Wars ? So when the police try to capture the second one, he disappears through a wall. At that point, I should have dropped watching the series. But some kind of hope kept me going. Beyond this there are a lot of mind numbing, retarded moments. But not like a small sequence. No. ENTIRE EPISODES ARE RETARDED, AND DON’T PROGRESS THE PLOT. For example, there is an episode about three people ( a teenager, a 8 year old girl and an old man ) who met on the internet, and try, the entire episode to kill themselves. When they realize they can’t do it they go to a hotel depressed. There they see the little slugger kill a random guy nobody gives a shit about, and they beg him to kill them, but he runs away. Then they decide NOT to kill themselves, and go to a bar and eat. Fucking genius. Or how about an episode, where the slugger transforms into a monster, but can’t kill a woman because she tells him that she is happy that her life is full of shit ( or something like that ). So, whatever, I can go on and on with this. The main idea is that you see all these sub plots that don’t progress the main story, and don’t forget…. THE SERIES HAS ONLY 13 EPISODES. The last part I want to comment on is the ending. It says that the little slugger appeared in this world when a little girl lied about her being hit in the head by the little slugger, because she didn’t want to tell her parent’s that her lack of attention at one moment led to the dog’s demise ( got hit by a car, the poor little dumb shit ). So when the girl ( now grown up ) makes peace with the past, the little slugger disappears. WOW. They were on drugs when they thought this shit up. FOR REAL. He was created by a little girl ? What is she, a super mental powered freak ? She can create the things she sees in her mind? What ever, if I want I can talk for days on this mess. Bottom line… Stay away! Stay away as fucking possible! Spare yourselves. Spare yourselves from this waste of time. I sacrificed myself for you, and even bothered writing a review about it to spare you the trouble of watching it. And those who watch till the end, without asking for mental counseling, should receive a reward. PARANOIA AGENT… YOU SUCK.
